This was never truer for me than in the past month when I chose to make a move in my living arrangements. This was a move that was some time in coming, as I don’t do change overnight. I must perseverate on it for a bit, going back and forth with the pros and cons. Ultimately, however, this was a change of choice, as are most things we do.
Yes, I liked where I lived. It had many amenities. It was a beautiful environment. It was also a bit expensive and a bit isolated. When I was working full-time away from the home and traveling a great deal, coming home to the serenity was wonderful. Now that I work mostly from home, I was getting a bit lonely and bored. I couldn’t walk the dog to anywhere—just around the same place, every day. I couldn’t get anywhere without driving. I wanted to live in town.
Now comes the weighing of the pros and cons. Apartments in town are not inexpensive, either. So, was I willing to give up the amenities and ultimately, some space? Was I willing to give up a garage for my car? Again, it all comes back to choices and priorities, and it wasn’t an easy decision. The ultimate answer was yes. But, I really wasn’t expecting the stress that would occur since, after all, this was my choice.
Did you know that moving is considered one of the most stressful events in one’s life, right behind death and divorce? Who knew? Certainly not me, so I wasn’t really prepared for the stress. Even though I’ve moved before, the stress of this one seemed greater. Perhaps because there really was a good deal to prioritize. If you’ve ever watched HGTV, you see someone view three properties and have to choose one. Most often, none are perfect and the person needs to ultimately sacrifice one desire in order to get another. This was certainly true for me. In my case, I was giving up a good deal of space for location. Easy, I thought, until I started to put my things into a space in which they did not easily fit. So now, what to keep and what to go?
We are creatures of habit and this move forced me out of what was familiar and comfortable. We mostly like to feel in control of our environment, and suddenly I felt quite out of control and overwhelmed. My life was now in boxes and I had to figure out how to make sense of it all again.
While I’m talking about moving here, this can apply to just many big changes one is making in life: a new home, a new job, etc. To make it work, I had to be willing to step out of my comfort zone and to admit that it is not easy.
Then, I needed to realize I did not need to do it alone nor should I. Many of us are not good at asking for help and I’m right there with them. Yet, when I reached out to friends, the stress became much less.
Take little steps. Are you like me and want it all done, now? I pushed so hard, I exhausted myself. I forgot to eat. This is not good for the stress. Slow down.Take care of yourself. It will all get done.
Allow yourself to grieve. No matter how great the move, you will be giving something up. I know I did. I lived around the corner from a very close and wonderful friend. I had to admit that I would miss this easy connection. When the apartment was completely empty, I had to consciously remember and then let go of some great memories. If you’re leaving a job, no matter how good the next job, you will be letting go of some things you value: co-workers, familiarity, etc.
Then, and only then, could I really focus on the positive and wonderful things in front of me. I traded inside space for an amazing outdoor courtyard where I can sit and have coffee and let the dog off the leash. I can now walk just about everywhere. Life is going to be easier in many ways.
Yes, I’m still sorting through things. I’m trying to find a place for those things I love and yes, I still need to let go of a few things. Will it be easy? Probably not, but with the right frame of mind and some great support from friends, it will be ok.
If you are moving in the future or making other significant changes, I’d love to hear how you are coping by sharing on my blog at www.gaylelasalle.com.
