The Power of Gratitude

This month as we begin the holiday season and get ready to celebrate giving thanks at Thanksgiving, I am inspired to share my most recent life-changing experience and the way it has made my heart swell with overwhelming gratitude and thanksgiving. On Monday, October 24, at 8:11 p.m. my husband and I welcomed our son into the world. Hearing his cry and locking eyes with him when they laid him on my chest was by far the most amazing moment I have ever experienced. As soon as I started speaking to him his eyes found mine and he began to settle down and we just stared at each other soaking in all the love and pure bliss of the moment. Time stopped and everything seemed meaningful and meaningless all at the same time. Since we brought Charlie home we have become the parents we have made fun of. Every mustard colored poop feels like he received a full ride to Yale. Every burp makes my husband swell with pride and we can discuss for hours how amazing he is and perfect. I used to roll my eyes on social media when new moms would overwhelm my newsfeed with pics of their new babies. Now I am eating humble pie as I post adorable pics of Charlie doing anything from staring at a wall to a one arm fist pump. When someone doesn’t react telling me my baby is the cutest ever I feel the urge to punch them in the face. I find it so humbling that I would judge other parents and think, is this your entire world? Get a life! And now, from this point, I have a new perspective. At this time in my life my son is my entire world. We were told last fall that we would likely need intervention to help us start our family. We conceived with some help and had an early loss right around Christmas. My husband and I were defeated, tired and sad. We decided to take a break and re-evaluate what we wanted and whether we even wanted to extend our family beyond a twosome. We headed to Florida to spend the holidays with my family, drank tropical drinks with umbrellas in them and thought about nothing other than what to eat for dinner. We relaxed and didn’t talk about the loss we had gone through or how heartbroken we both felt. Instead we made plans to travel home to Saratoga and Lake George for the summer. We traveled to Philadelphia and spent time with our closest childhood friends, and neither one of us mentioned the B word again. The week before super bowl Sunday I felt very tired and teary. My husband said in passing, I bet you’re pregnant and I bet it’s a boy. I looked at him like he had two heads and then I checked the calendar. I took a test on super bowl Sunday and to my shock we were pregnant, no help, no plan, just living our lives in the present without any agenda. The first month of the pregnancy I had bloodwork every other day and an ultrasound every week. We held our breaths and told no one of our news. When you are over 35 you get every test in the book so at 10 weeks we were given the news that we were having a boy and that all the tests looked normal and perfect. I still couldn’t take a deep breath even though every marker had come back perfect. We finally started to tell our family at around 16 weeks and I waited to tell anyone at work until I was almost 5.5 months pregnant. Before anyone knew we were expecting, people would make comments on and off and question whether or not we would start a family, not knowing what we had just gone through. I will say this- you NEVER know what someone is going through. Be cautious and sensitive about topics such as children, marriage, sexuality, family, finances and weight. You don’t know someone’s personal struggle and there were many times I was just trying to get through the day and someone would innocently ask what our plans were for a family. My immediate reaction was to want to physically lunge at them and scream. The fact is, they didn’t know what had happened but we can all think a little more deeply about the things we ask others about deeply personal topics. I have written countless articles on enjoying the present and being thankful for what you have each day. It is ironic to think that this is when our miracle baby made his way to us; when we had let go of the timing, agenda and the needing it to happen. I have no doubt our faith in God and our belief that whatever happened would be right for us got us to this point. I don’t know how people live without some sort of spiritual anchor in times of hopelessness. As you go through this holiday season, stop and be present. Think of all the amazing blessings you have from the little to the big. Take a step back and remember the milestone moments in your life that took your breath away. As I embrace this new role of motherhood, I remember the moments of pure exhaustion where I think I will pass out from fatigue the miracle of birthing Charlie into the world and seeing him for the first time. When I give thanks in those difficult moments I am infused with strength and peace. Don’t let the stresses of everyday life steal your joy and choke you from being able to experience the miraculous. Take a time out and review the miraculous around you. Sometimes just starting at the moon or feeling the sun on your face can bring you back to the simple and the joyful. May you be blessed this Thanksgiving and may you know that there is a force of Love and Peace available to you at every moment. Take it in, value it and watch how your life is transformed. YOU ARE WORTH IT! Ps- If you see my baby be prepared to gush or I may hurt you. Meghan Lemery Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing in State College, PA. 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