Learning to live a drama free life
By Meghan Lemery
Have you ever been around someone who says how much they hate drama yet they seem to have a ton of it in their life?
I work with clients every day who desire more peace and less stress, but they seem to create drama everywhere they go.
Whatever it is that we “hate” or resist in life will keep showing up over and over again. People who thrive in drama may be miserable, but they stay in it because they know how to do it well.
Drama comes in the form of constantly being offended by others, blowing up at the daily stress of life, spreading slander about others and using manipulation to get what you want.
If you are someone who is always offended by the actions of others then you are a drama seeker. When people act in ways that offend you it’s not about you, it’s about them. Hurt people hurt people and what people say and do is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Your relationship with family, friends and co-workers is a reflection of where you are in your heart and spirit.
If you constantly judge others and are overly critical, than you are a person who judges yourself and suffers from deep rooted insecurity. When we judge someone else it makes us feel better about or own baggage and dysfunction. It’s an attempt to gain power and control, and this behavior is rooted deeply in the ego, which is driven by fear, control and power.
How do we let go of drama and learn to live more peaceful lives? The first thing you have to do is own it. Admit it, drama is kind of exciting. It adds some spice to a boring day. I love nothing more than a good brawl on the Real Housewives. I know it’s crap TV, but I am intrigued by all the drama, and secretly it makes me feel like I’m much more mature and wise than the housewives. If I dig a little deeper, my ego is slightly jealous of all the jewels, Botox and amazing closets full of high end clothes. I own it! Once we own our behavior we gain insight on how to change it.
If there is lots of drama in your life, OWN IT!
The next step is to be conscious of the ways you create drama. If you are stuck in traffic and start banging the steering wheel and cursing, you are creating drama. If the roof has a leak and you immediately start to worry and stress to the point where you are cranky with your spouse and kids—drama. If a friend calls you to bail out of a dinner party because they are sick and you get offended—drama!
Drama comes in the form of anything that you allow to steal your peace.
Many people create drama over their feelings. I work with many clients who will often say, “I hate being sad, this is so horrible!”
That reaction to your feeling is creating drama. Rather than judge the sadness, recognize that uncomfortable feelings like anger or sadness is our internal GPS system letting us know how we feel. Accept the discomfort of the feeling and the drama will disappear. Treat the uncomfortable feelings with a sense of peace over anxiety and you will feel much more stable and less vulnerable.
Recognize that our feelings guide us and give us the insight we need to set boundaries with others, make changes and grow in our relationships. Don’t let uncomfortable feelings steal your peace. Simply accept the discomfort and work through it. Any other reaction is creating drama and stress.
Once you are conscious of how you create drama, make the decision to remove yourself from the company of the drama queens. You are the company you keep. If most of your friends have a ton of drama going on, than that is an indicator that you do as well.
Take a good look at who you hang out with. Are your conversations full of gossip and judgment or encouragement and laughter? Do you spend time only talking about surface topics or are you able to go deeper and have interesting conversations with your friends? Any person, place or thing that keeps you from growing is NOT worth hanging on to in your life.
Be willing to recognize that living a life with more peace means letting go of the drama seekers. I always refer to these people as energy drainers. Drama is a huge energy drainer and it will always leave you feeling exhausted and confused.
Make the choice to let go of a crowd that does not promote peace and growth.
Living a life with more peace means guarding your heart from anything that will cause harm. Be vigilant with your purpose to maintain peace at all times. Once you make this decision you will find that you have more energy, more fun and a clearer mind. You will notice that the things you used to love to watch on TV or the people you thought were fun to hang out with are not as interesting. You will notice immediately in social situations who the drama queens are and who the peace keepers are. Your eyes will be more able to see things clearly from a spiritual perspective.
Living in drama and stress drains our energy and makes us physically and emotionally ill. Stop the insanity and make a decision to kick drama out of your life! You will be amazed at how much better you feel and how much better your life becomes with this decision!
Wishing you peace today and always. I have to run. The Housewives are on....