I think schedules have always been important to me.
I’ve always hated not knowing what comes next and when, hated not being able to plan my day because of the unknown, hated when my plan had to change because of last-minute unexpected schedule changes, but I didn’t really know how much those things mattered to me until I became a mother.
In my motherhood, especially with babies, my issue with schedules has mostly manifested itself in sleeping and eating: Those two things are so important for me as a mother that I will move heaven and earth and every bit of my own hoped-for schedule of the day to make sure my babies have all the opportunities they need to nurse, get a sufficient nap, go to bed at a reasonable time, and sleep as much as possible through as much of the night as their development allows. I’m totally fine with the baby dictating to me when he’s hungry and tired, which, with my babies, quickly starts to show a fairly predictable rhythm, and then I stick to his rhythm without distraction (until he changes it, as growing babies do). I have never minded putting in the slow, steady, consistent, sometimes two-steps-forward-one-step-back work to really get the baby and I in a good groove—peaceful, sleepful nights with full tummies are my goal, both for baby’s good health and so that I don’t lose my mind.
As my boys have grown, my insistence on a semblance of predictability has taken on different appearances: Once they’re old enough that they’re no longer nursing and bedtime is no longer an issue, my priority shifts to how to keep things as peaceful as possible during the day. Certainly, “peaceful” takes on new meaning when there are seven boys tumbling around, but what I mean is that I have in my mind a schedule of the day—blocks of time that we can deviate from if needed or wanted, but that are easy to slip back into if things are getting out of control. Never do I find this mindset more helpful than in summertime.
For nearly a decade, my summer routine has looked like this: Everybody downstairs by 8 a.m. (no sleeping in, because that will interfere with naps and bedtime later), then breakfast, then children outside until lunch. (During that time I do what needs to be done in the house.) Lunch is followed by a quick pick-up of the house, then I read to them for up to an hour (Charlotte’s Web has almost always been the book we start with in the summer), then we have quiet time for a couple of hours. Then I start dinner, Dad comes home, we eat, we hang out together, the boys go to bed. It’s a good, healthy, simple, predictable daily schedule. (Do note that the older boys—middle school and older—don’t have to stick to this schedule. It’s amazing how self-sufficient big kids are!)
This summer, I decided to change things up a bit. I was most inspired by our school-at-home schedule from this past spring—the little boys and I did school until lunchtime, and then we had a similar schedule as summer for the rest of the day: lunch, clean-up, quiet time, etc. When we had a week off of school for Easter break, in order to keep our momentum going, I replaced “school” with “cleaning” and we all did a pretty great job getting the house in good order in just a week. So I decided to try that as our new summer schedule: Everybody downstairs by 8am, then breakfast, then an hour or two of cleaning (I came up with jobs for each of us, myself included), then outside time, then lunch, etc.
Except, I now have six children who are older than Kindergarten age and a baby who’s really not a baby anymore. This changes things! My original motivation, all those years ago, was, ultimately, to allow for peaceful nights. A busy day and regular naps and bedtime for the little guys almost always allowed this to happen. But what I’m finding this summer is that, on the whole, we’ve moved on!
On the first morning of the first week of summer vacation, I found myself sitting on the couch feeling like the mental exhaustion from the spring was catching up with me. Despite my desire to jump immediately into our new schedule, I just had to sit for a few minutes. The baby was happily playing, the other boys were behaving, and the next thing I knew it was nearly lunchtime. What a peaceful morning it had been! And I hadn’t even had to assign chores or send anyone outside to make it happen!
The next morning, I thought I’d try it again—and again, we had a peaceful, relaxing morning! This time, I felt energized enough to get us all cleaning for a bit before lunch, and I even went outside with the baby and middle boys. Next day, same.
Maybe it’s because I don’t have a nursing baby or a baby who doesn’t sleep well that I’m able to deviate from my schedule a bit without feeling like the world is spinning out of control. Maybe I’m becoming used to having to adjust my preferences because of new pandemic requirements. Maybe this is just one of the many crazy things 2020 has come up with. Whatever the reason, I’m not hating it.
Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 15, 13, 12, 10, 8, 6, and 1.
Follow her at facebook.com/kmtowne23, or email her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
