It’s that festive time of year when families gather together and lifelong memories are made. The children gather around the fire while mom and dad sit on the couch reminiscing. As the burning wood crackles, grandma floats in with a smile that stretches from ear to ear as she serves everyone warm hot chocolate with whip cream and a sprig of cinnamon.
Okay, reality check.
Maybe holidays don't quite play out as described and family visits are more comparable to a dental visit than a Hallmark card, but I have learned something interesting over the years.
First, I have learned that although our mothers love us very much, no one can get under our skin quite like they do. Simple little comments that would normally go unnoticed can be like nails dragging along a chalkboard. Does any of this sound familiar to you? What is it about the mother/adult-child relationship that is so darn frustrating? And don't even get me started on the mother/daughter in-law relationship. Yikes!
Recently, I have been trying a new technique that seems to be working well. I just go with the flow. If my mom suggests something that she knows will be annoying, I respond "Sure, that sounds great."
Someone makes a digging comment that could begin an argument? "No problem," I say with a smile, "That was a good one, you got me."
During the entire visit I regularly repeat my mantra: "Whatever you guys want, I just go with the flow."
This new technique has a two-pronged effect. First, it quells the possible argument before it builds any momentum allowing us to transition quickly and smoothly to the next possible confrontation. Second, and just as fulfilling (although I will never admit it out loud) it stumps her when she doesn't get her desired response!
The next big thing I have learned, although not through personal experience, is that once they leave this world, we always want them back. Life is too short and all too often our loved ones pass before we get to tell them how much they mean to us, or thank them for all the little things that made us feel special through the years. Don’t get caught in that trap.
So what do you think? Can you just go with the flow this holiday season?
