In the past month, we have seen two hurricanes devastate Texas and Florida. Thousands have lost their homes and cities and towns have been destroyed. It will take years to rebuild what has been lost.
When you allow yourself to spend time with people that effect you negatively it can feel like a hurricane. One minute you are enjoying the sunshine and feeling stable and the next hour you are clinging to a tree hoping not to get thrown into the ocean of turmoil.
If you turned on the news you could follow the coverage and warnings every minute of the day. The messages were clear and direct, “Take shelter, evacuate your homes, we can replace things not lives.” Your intuition is much like a weather channel warning. You will know when it’s time to evacuate a friendship or relationship with a toxic person. If you override that warning, you will put your emotional, physical and spiritual health at risk.
There were several instances of people who stayed in evacuated areas, explored what was going on outside, or even surfaced the waves of the hurricane. It’s not surprising in these cases that people were hurt and even lost their lives.
Don’t override the warnings your internal GPS system sends you to protect you from harm. When you feel the warning of anxiety that is your body letting you know it’s time to take refuge.
The best way to protect yourself from emotional harm is to honor your internal weather channel of emotions at all times. If you spend time with someone over and over again only to feel drained, anxious and upset after your time together you are in the eye of the storm.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you choose to spend time with. Just because someone is a family member does not mean you need to expose yourself to their destructive path.
Self-love and respect is really about honoring your peace of mind at all times. Don’t wait until the eye of the storm to be a refuge and a shelter for yourself. Immediately heed to the warning and put up your hurricane shutters in the form of strict boundaries.
Don’t wait until you are sick emotionally, physically and spiritually to take refuge from toxic people. The longer you expose yourself to the storm, the longer it will take to rebuild your confidence, faith and trust in yourself.
Be a refuge and a fortress for your emotional wellbeing, you are worth it!
Meghan Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing in State College, PA.
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