AS WE APPROACH the holiday season we will get ready to spend time with family and enjoy the holiday season. While we would all like to have a happy holiday season, the key to a successful holiday is to protect your emotional, physical and spiritual health.
This time of year can trigger uncomfortable feelings of sadness, regret, anger, and guilt leading to the holiday blues. The best way to safeguard yourself from an unhealthy holiday is to be aware of your feelings and create a plan of action that works to keep you healthy and strong all season long.
Many of us feel like we have to spend time with specific family members during the season. This kind of pressure can cause us to feel anxious and physically uncomfortable with a pit in your stomach or a lump in your throat. As soon as you feel that way about the plans you are making for the holiday, stop and tune in to what these physical symptoms are telling you.
Our bodies have a built in GPS system that will let us know immediately when we need to stop and recalculate. If spending time with a certain family member makes you feel physically uncomfortable and you find yourself dreading the holidays, stop and love yourself enough to acknowledge the truth of your feelings.
Many of us consistently override our GPS system and continue to put ourselves in uncomfortable family dynamics to avoid conflict. The problem with this is that while you may protect other people from feeling uncomfortable, you feel sick and stressed out.
Do not take one for the team and allow yourself to experience extreme anxiety and discomfort. Pay attention to your GPS and make a commitment to honor your peace of mind over pleasing others.
Have a strategy in place of how you will navigate the holiday season and who you would enjoy spending time with. For those family members that you would rather stay away from be honest with yourself and loved ones (when possible) about your plan of action to protect yourself from toxicity and negativity.
Instead of spending the evening with people that stress you out, have a time limited plan and stick to it. Time limits will help keep your anxiety level low and make you feel more in control of a difficult situation.
If you can share this plan with someone else- friend, spouse, loved one, do so and pick a code word that you will use if you need to get yourself out of a situation immediately. Have a plan of what you will do when you use that code word. For example, you will exit the room, go outside, take a deep breath and re-group. Or, you will head to the bathroom and take a minute to get your peace of mind back.
If the situation is causing extreme anxiety and you find yourself triggered by a certain family member, use the code word with a safe person, grab your coat and let people know you are not feeling well and need to leave.
Whenever you choose to override your internal GPS, you are setting yourself up for anxiety, depression and physical symptoms of a migraine, GI trouble, or a heavy lump in your throat. How other people (family members) feel about your boundaries is NOT your problem.
Be unapologetic in taking care of yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually. The best gift you can give yourself in any season is to honor your health above all else. Do not give other people the power to steal your joy and peace.
Make this holiday season happy and healthy.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Meghan Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing in State College, PA. For more information or to schedule a consult email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Also follow her on twitter @ meghanlfritz.
