Tending To The Garden Of Your Mind - Pulling Up The Weeds In Your Life

How is your mood these days? Are you experiencing peace and joy in your everyday life or frustration and impatience? Are you living your life “on purpose” or going through the motions feeling numb and dead on the inside? How is the garden of your mind? Are you tending to your garden or letting the weeds take over? When I lived in Boston I lived next door to an elderly woman who had a beautiful garden. Every morning she would spend hours in her garden tending to each plant and flower. Many mornings I would sit on my porch, sip my coffee and watch her peacefully pulling out the weeds and tending to her precious flowers with patience and love. I think our mental state can be compared to tending to a garden; do we have beautiful flowers of joy and peace or toxic weeds of bitterness and guilt? The weeds in your heart and mind are feelings of bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, guilt, self-loathing and negativity. Do you spend your days reviewing the list of those that have offended you? Do you beat yourself up daily for past mistakes or regrets? These are the weeds that can take over your mind and lead to racing thoughts, a dark depression, constant anxiety or physical illness and chronic pain. If you are someone who is easily frustrated, impatient and critical, you can be sure you have some weeds to deal with. The only path to peace and joy in your everyday life is to pull your weeds out from the root and confront the issue. Holding onto your weeds only makes you ill and deadens your heart. Forgiveness is not about letting the person who hurt you off the hook, rather forgiveness allows light into our hearts so we can heal and move forward. It takes the heavy burden of offense and resentment off of our hearts and minds preparing the soil for new growth and experiences. When someone treats you poorly or hurts you, it is always about them, not you. Hurt people, hurt people. Recognize that any hurt or offense in your life is about someone else’s baggage and pain being projected onto you. When we see things in this light it makes it easier to let go and move forward. When possible, confront the people you need to forgive so that you can have closure and move on. If it is not possible to confront the person who is the weed in your life, write them a letter expressing your hurt and anger (not to send but in a private journal). This is a wonderful way to give yourself closure and put your feelings out on the table. More often than not the person we have to forgive or confront is ourselves. If you are constantly beating yourself up and feeling guilty about your past, make a choice to forgive yourself. You don’t know what you know until you know it. If you had known to make a better choice in your past, you would have. Recognize the place of pain you were in when you look at the past with regret. Be willing to view yourself with eyes of compassion and acceptance, not judgment and condemnation. Unforgiveness toward ourselves and one another can kill us emotionally, physically and spiritually. Don’t wait for the desire and warm fuzzy feelings to forgive yourself or someone else. Sometimes the decision and choice to forgive is the first step, and the feelings follow this choice. Don’t be lazy about your weeds. Dig deep and pull out your weeds so that you can make room for peace and joy. We all desire to feel loved and accepted. That acceptance starts with you. Begin to focus on peaceful, loving, joyful thoughts. Keep a gratitude journal of what you love about yourself or the loved ones in your life. Practice planting seeds of joy by giving acceptance and love to everyone around you. Take time to practice patience and kindness to your family, friends, colleagues and the slow cashier at the grocery store. Go out of your way to help others in any way that you can. All of these acts of kindness plant the seeds of peace, love, joy and abundance. As we approach the new season of spring, take some time to tend to the garden of your mind. Let the warmth and light of spring warm your heart and free your mind from the dark cold days of winter! Wishing you love, self acceptance and peace this spring and always! Ms. Lemery is a psychotherapist practicing in Glens Falls and Saratoga Springs. For more information email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.