Today is Valentine’s Day, and I wish I had something Valentines-y to share with you — but I have something even better! “Unforgettable in every way” crooned Nat King Cole in his romantic hit, and I’m going to share with you just how to be unforgettable … as the host of a birthday party for a child.

I need to start out by saying that we don’t do birthday parties for our boys where we invite their friends, and this is one hundred percent because of my limitations as a person and a mother. I can’t even come up with a scenario where I’d feel capable of hosting the birthday boy’s friends for a party, even a small one. We do, however, have a family party for each of the boys for their birthdays; it’s really just one of our normal Sunday dinners (we have dinner each Sunday night with whoever of our extended family can make it) that’s been “birthday-fied” by allowing the birthday boy to choose the menu, and having birthday cake for dessert. My boys have been brought up knowing we don’t do friend parties, and as a result they get really excited for their family party (which I’ve heard them telling their friends about — “I’m having my birthday party this weekend!” — and I’m always worried it will be misunderstood as a *friend party*! To all of the parents of my boys’ friends, please know I would never not invite your children! And I’m ever so grateful that you continue to invite my boys to your children’s parties, even though we can’t reciprocate!)

I think the menu is really the most exciting part of the party for my boys — it’s not every day they can choose what everyone eats! They ask for their favorite foods, and I’m totally committed to allowing them free rein here (within reason, though my parameters are broad). Whether they want to do something easy, like order in pizza, or something more complicated, like for me to make a certain dish, I do what I can to deliver. And when they’re too young to ask for something specific, I try to figure out what their current favorite food is and build a meal around it.

Hands down, our most memorable party was the one we had for our No. 5 when he was turning two. 

Hands down, his favorite food at that time was liverwurst (just liverwurst, no bread).

This particular boy has always been the pickiest of picky eaters. Historically, he’s hated all breads, sauces, gravies, and cheese, which takes away a lot of options that are crowd- and kid-friendly, like pizza. How such a boy ended up loving liverwurst, I’ll never know, but love it he did, and since I like it as well, I didn’t think it would be hard to figure out a liverwurst-themed menu.

I was pretty thrilled with how it turned out! I got those small loaves of pumpernickel bread, and I buttered and grilled half of them with cheese, so those that eat liverwurst had a choice of cold sandwich or hot, and those that didn’t like liverwurst (including the rest of my boys) could have grilled cheeses. I sautéed onions, which I thought went well with both liverwurst and with grilled cheese for those with a more adult palate. I offered other things as well — chips and veggies and dip — and of course there was cake. I was terribly impressed with myself.

To this day, six years later, every time one of the boys’ birthdays is coming up, it’s not unusual for a family member to ask what food the birthday boy has requested, because they’re bracing themselves to hear “liverwurst.” Bracing themselves! As if the liverwurst party was that bad! As if they were forced to eat something they didn’t like! As if there weren’t lots of other tasty non-liverwurst options!

Anyway, doesn’t everyone want to throw the kind of party that’s talked about for years afterward? I didn’t know that was a goal of mine, but I’m totally owning it. Yes, I threw a liverwurst party and I’m not sorry. The birthday boy loved it, which was the whole point. And now you know how to throw an unforgettable party! (But I will admit that if you’re looking to throw a Valentine’s Day party, liverwurst might not be your best option.)

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 15, 13, 11, 9, 8, 5, and 1. Follow her at www.facebook.com/kmtowne23, or email her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..