Hey there!
Fancy meeting like this again!
I hoped by the writing of this I’d be able to include good news regarding the end of this terrible time, but alas—as of now (a week before you’re reading it), things are status quo. There is some good news—I anxiously await Governor Cuomo’s update every day, and it’s been so great to see the daily death rate decreasing. At the same time, as he states again and again, even one death is too many, and even though the numbers are coming down, the fact that they still exist is cause for sorrow. If that isn’t the grim truth, I don’t know what is.
But a really great thing is that Sunday is Mother’s Day! One of the best days of the year! Just ask any mother! There are definitely things that will be different this year—no brunch out at a restaurant, for one thing, and on a more serious note, you may not be able to visit your mom because of the stay-at-home orders (my heart goes out to moms who have to spend Mother’s Day apart from their children to preserve their health, especially those in nursing homes)—but there’s a lot that can stay the same.
I read today that Mother’s Day sees the greatest phone traffic, not only in the U.S. but around the world as well, which is something that can stay the same this year! Call your mom! Or Zoom/Facetime/Skype/WhatsApp if you can—I’m sure she’d love to see your face!
You can send Mom a card (if you can’t get one during your more-infrequent-than-usual trips to the grocery store, just make one! Or write a letter!). You can send her flowers if you can find a florist that’s open. If you live close enough to your mom, you can leave a bouquet on her front step of flowers that you picked from your yard or made out of paper (just be sure to call or text to let her know it’s there!)—in fact, there’s a lot you can leave for her on her front step if you live close by. You can make a sweet treat (a flourless chocolate cake was one of my mother-in-law’s favorite things, which is kind of perfect for now, since I haven’t been able to find flour the last three times I went to the store!), or even a small meal, so she doesn’t have to cook.
If you can’t pull together something like these things in the next day or two, at least call. Don’t let your mom think you forgot about her, even if you have the mother of your children to consider as well.
For the mom that you live with (your own mom, or the mother of your children), you can make sure she has a great day by making it possible for her to do whatever she wants to do! If she wants to lay on the couch and watch TV all day, make that happen. If she wants to go for a run, or a walk, or a ride in the car, make that happen. If she doesn’t want to cook, make all the meals (and make sure she has food she likes!). If she hates that the laundry is backed up, get in there and wash the clothes. If she’s been bugging you about cleaning your room, clean your room. If she likes to take a nap in the afternoon, watch the kids so she can lay down. You get the idea. But even more than that—do it with a smile! Don’t let her feel like you’re only doing all this because you have to; make her feel like there’s nothing you want to do more than make her happy. It’s for one day—you can do it!
I also hold tenderly in my heart those mothers whose children have passed away, and those children whose mothers have passed away. We’ll be visiting the cemetery on Mother’s Day, where my mother-in-law and grandmother are buried, which is nice to do, if you can. Or you can do something else in their memory—have their favorite food, watch their favorite movie, take a look through photos of them. If it’s too painful for you to do so, be patient and gentle with yourself.
Just because celebrations have to look different this year doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate. Mother’s Day is about thanking mothers for all that they’ve done for their children, which is absolutely possible, no matter the circumstances. I hope you all have a great Mother’s Day!
Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 15, 13, 11, 10, 8, 6, and 1. Follow her at facebook.com/kmtowne23, or email her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
