I don’t think it’s unusual for parents to dread summer to some degree, whether just a little frazzle or actual full-out panic that the kids will be out of school and home all day, every day, for more than two months. Any change in lifestyle and the familiar rhythms of one’s days is going to involve some transition time, some stress, some discomfort. Especially when the people you’re trying to meld your days with like to keep things interesting by throwing a screaming fit from time to time (more likely than not because you’ve run out of red freeze pops and can only offer orange, purple, green, blue, or yellow), or trashing the house and then acting oppressed and persecuted (even full-out baffled) at the idea of having to clean it up, or expressing starvation-type hunger every half hour but then declining what’s offered (“But I’m not hungry for Cheerios!” my three-year-old likes to tell me. “I’m hungry for something ELSE! Something brown and crunchy.” “Oh,” I’ll say, because he’s so funny, “like these cookies?” “Yes!” he’ll say, delighted that I figured out just what he needs to survive.)
Even the most well behaved children will cause ripples in the day. I was one such child (according to my memory and my mom), and still I expressed my undying love for the neighbor boy by writing it all over the white siding of our porch with a rock when I was about seven. We couldn’t get it off.
In our house, up until a few years ago, summers bumped along pretty similarly to the rest of the year. Though I had one or two boys in school, they were still only in the lower grades, and the majority of my boys weren’t in school yet, so summer basically only meant we didn’t have to stop what we were doing to do the school run in the morning and afternoon.
But then, three summers ago I wrote about the daily schedule I’d instituted for the summer, borne of the fact that, for the first time in my experience as a mom with kids in school, within hours of arriving home from the last day at school I had anarchy and chaos in the house and I was in danger of losing my mind. We need structure, I told the boys, and I explained what that structure would be: Mornings outside, afternoons inside, chores every day, quiet time every day, reading time every day.
Three years later, we’re still operating under the same summer schedule, and it’s been nothing short of perfection (or as near as possible).
Certainly we have our hiccups and meltdowns and time outs. (We’re still working on learning that one’s rights are not being violated every time one’s brother looks in one’s direction, or walks too close to one’s pile of dirt, and that the one swing cannot be occupied by the same boy all morning. Etc.)
My oldest boy is now old enough to not always have to follow the same schedule as the other brothers, which is a new development this summer. (“If you don’t want to be outside or you can’t be outside without driving everyone crazy, you can come inside, but if you’re inside, you must either read your book or clean,” I tell him. He’s been 50-50 on what he decides on any given day.)
And of course we have the various odd activities and appointments and trips that otherwise interfere with our schedule. Like swimming lessons—every summer for the past five years I’ve enrolled whoever was old enough in swimming lessons at Skidmore. Have I mentioned this program before? Because if not, I need to—I LOVE this program. It’s a half hour every day for two weeks. Certainly you can do more than that, but that’s what we do, and it’s been so great. The boys look forward to it all year, and their skills improve so much during those two weeks.
Otherwise, one of my favorite summer things is our reading time. A couple years ago, wanting to find a book that could appeal to the whole span of my boys’ ages, I read Charlotte’s Web to them, and it was the first time a book actually captivated them all, from the oldest to the youngest. I decided to read it again this summer, and so far we’ve all been loving it. I usually read two chapters, right before quiet time, and it’s not unusual for them to clamor for another. When I read the part about the rotten goose egg exploding, my five-year-old said, “That’s why this chapter is called ‘The Explosion,’” which blew me away because I didn’t think he’d been paying attention to that degree, nor that he would remember a detail like the chapter’s name even several pages later. When we read the part about Wilbur being lonely and wondering if anyone would be his friend, my three-year-old immediately raised his hand, eyes wide, and said, “I will!” (Be still my heart!)
And of course, I’m loving all the chores getting done—extra things, above and beyond their normal chores, like helping me move things and getting long-neglected corners of the house in order. The boys and I have also discussed some goals and hopes for the summer: lots of lake swimming, a week-long trip away, getting ready for the first day of middle school (!), day trips here and there, visiting with friends.
Basically, as long as we keep to a fairly structured day, and have a decent plan for the summer as a whole, I find these weeks off from school to be pretty amazing. We all know what to expect; we all know how long the current thing lasts and what comes next, even while being able to easily move into and out of the schedule as needed; we all have things we’re looking forward to. So if anyone wants advice on how to have a great summer with the ten-and-under set, that’s what I have to offer: Have a structure to your day and a plan for your summer! I hope your summers have all started out well, and that you had a wonderful Fourth of July!
Kate Towne Sherwin lives in Saratoga Springs with her husband and their sons ages 10, 8, 7, 5, 3, and 1. She can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
