I have witnessed on many different occasions how parents react to teams and games where their children are participants. Don’t misunderstand me. I feel the majority of parents are involved in a good way.
But there are some parents who just can’t control their temperament. It can get really ugly and this has been an issue for many of us who are on the other side of the floor, the coaches and referees.
Some situations have given the word disrespect a whole new meaning. Actually, this is my second article on this subject, and it just doesn’t go away.
Let me dissect the problem.
First: Whose game is it anyway? The kids, of course, but when some moms and dads are watching a game, they only see one player, their own child.
Yelling has become the sound of parental frustration. Yelling at the refs, the coaches, even team players, and not necessarily opponents, but sometimes teammates. I feel this scenario has become an epidemic in youth sports, one that might seem to have no solution. The expression of “the adult in the room” has possibly lost its true meaning.
It has been brought to my attention that there are some basketball youth leagues that use older kids for officials. I was informed that it really gets ugly because of the disrespect demonstrated by the adults toward the youngsters who are refereeing the game. Understand that many of these young refs don’t receive any monetary stipend. In fact, these programs are for youth participation and their enjoyment. What is being created is a scenario of dread.
“Oh, we’re playing so and so’s team and they have those unruly parents who can’t control their emotions and are constantly screaming at the refs and coaches.”
Visitors, parents, and adults who are lacking in restraint and discipline have become an offensive group exhibiting behavior not to be emulated by children.
A little more dissecting, if I may? There are those parents who get on their own child’s performance during and after a game. This brings ugly to a whole new level of being reprehensible. I have heard stories from kids who talk about the ride home after a game and being bombarded with parental critique for having had a poor game. I have witnessed finger pointing and yelling result in embarrassment for the youngster, from parents who are disillusioned by their kid’s possible future of stardom.
Some of the worst situations that I have observed were by moms or dads who have never had any success as an athlete, or even played sports.
There have been situations when adults go after each other with reckless behavior. In recent years, there have been some cases of reckless brutality of parents against parents, coaches, referees and opponents. In some isolated instances, murder has been a result of a brutal fight. In the world of sports, there probably isn’t anything more heart wrenching than witnessing a fight over a game, a game where adults have no control over the outcome.
Why does this exhibition of anger, aggression and rudeness happen? There’s probably a long list of reasons. But whatever is on that list, there is no justification for the disrespect that’s manifested by unruly adults.
It may result in the young athlete not wanting to play any more. Even if they do play, the fun and idea of playing sports for all of the good reasons of being involved have vanished into a seemingly reluctant participation, or no involvement at all.
My last thought here is that if you, as a parent, are totally involved in your child’s pursuit of playing sports, let them experience the fun and try to encourage him or her, without negative feedback. Help them out in a positive way, and if you volunteer as a coach, know something about the game, especially for their sake. Try Googling rules and the technique of the sport. Allow them to have fun and enjoy playing with friends, meeting new people and being on a team.
Encourage and support the experience, so they might want to continue their journey. And finally, savor your child’s games by cheering her on and watching them have fun.
