Black Lives Matter: Change Starts with Reflection & Vulnerability

EVERY THURSDAY MORNING SINCE MID-MARCH I join the B94.5  Morning Getaway Crew to share tips on how to navigate the new normal of living in a pandemic.  I give steps on how to process uncomfortable feelings, how to cope with the stress of trying to work from home and take care of your family, and how to handle anxiety and depression during this time.

I do not prepare for these discussions nor do I feel anxious.  It’s subject matter I am familiar and comfortable with.  I don’t worry that I will say the wrong thing and I don’t shrink back from sharing tips I have learned personally and professionally. I speak with confidence and I feel relaxed.

So last week, when Angela, a white woman, and Jason, a black man, my Morning Getaway team,  asked me to address the murder of George Floyd and the protests going on in our Country and around the world for Black Lives Matter,  I immediately felt uncomfortable.

“I don’t know what to say, I feel like I have no right to talk about this and I’m so anxious of saying the wrong thing.  I feel paralyzed with anxiety.”

To which Jason replied, “Say THAT, just start with the truth, that is the conversation we all need to start with.” 

As we continued to talk and went on the air I realized that my silence is only perpetuating the problem.  My non-participation and silence is what needs to be examined, reflected upon and changed.

I don’t have the answers, I don’t know what it feels like to be afraid because of the color of your skin or afraid to leave your house in the evening for fear of being stopped by the police.  I will never understand what that is like.

Perhaps where we start is with the truth. You may not know what to say, you may not know what to do, but starting with that honesty breaks the cycle of silence. Participating in the conversation is where we start.  Reflecting on our actions (or lack of ) is where we start. 

As I said, I do not know what it is like to experience racism in everyday life in the workplace and in our communities. What I do know is the voice of compassion and the voice of love. I do know what it is like to be a Mamma and to know that when my son calls out to me I will drop everything to care for him. 

I have no idea how to do more or to help more.  But maybe saying that out loud is where I start.  We have to stop being silent and passive, we have to admit that we may be uncomfortable and scared.  We have to come to the table ready to talk honestly.  If we stay silent and shrink back with our support then we are cosigning on murder. 

WE MUST START TALKING. 
BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Meghan Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing in State College, PA. For more information email: meghanfritzlcsw@gmail.com