My mom has told me on more than one occasion that there’s an old saying: “Children need to know when Mother has a headache.” I’ve thought of this many times since becoming a mom, and what exactly it means. I used to think it meant that it’s not a bad thing for kids to know that sometimes Moms don’t feel well and need to lay down, or need to serve cereal for dinner, or can’t host a playdate, and I still do think that’s a large part of it — this idea that Moms aren’t amazing as kids are inclined to believe (not always, anyway), and they need grace and mercy and patience as well. But something happened recently that showed me another side to this saying, and I’m still thinking about it a couple of weeks later.

I’d been having progressive, chronic pain that started on the top of head and by the time I first went to the doctor, I was having fairly constant headaches and had started having pain on the skin of my forehead on one side; after a weekend of trying the doctor’s initial suggestion, it was worse, and it had spread down my face and I had stabbing pains deep in the top of my head, my temple, my ear, and my throat on one side. The doctor’s best guess was shingles, and after a week of antiviral medication as well as medication for nerve pain, I’m nearly one hundred percent better, so I think she was right (and I’m so grateful!). 

The thing is, I’d been dealing with this creeping, worsening pain for a couple of weeks before my shingles diagnosis — pain that was there when I went to bed, was aggravated by placing my head on the pillow, and was there when I woke up — and then it took a couple of days after starting taking the meds before I really started feeling better, so this one day, right before I started feeling better, I lost it on the kids. Every single thing they were doing made me feel like I was losing my mind — the arguing! The laughter! The sound of the foosball men being twirled on their poles and kicking the ball into the goal! The sound of the dishes clanging against each other as one of the boys put them away! The NOISE! The bad noises, the good noises, so many noises! Every bit of sound they made was so loud and pinged around inside my sore head until I started yelling at them for every little infraction I could think of and I ended with, “And none of you even care that I’m not feeling well!”

“Really?” answered one of them (the bravest one, apparently). “I didn’t know you weren’t feeling well!” It was a little voice of reason that broke through the haze of pain and I thought to myself, very clearly and calmly, “Well of course. How would they know?” I had never told them. I hadn’t even thought to tell them. I’d just kept plugging away at our everyday life and all the things that needed to be done, so all they saw was “business as usual.” I felt quite patient all of a sudden, and soothed, even. I called them all in and told them that it was unfair of me to expect them to be quieter and better behaved because I wasn’t feeling well, when I hadn’t even told them I wasn’t feeling well. They all felt quite badly for me — they hugged me and made sounds of sympathy (which, funny enough, didn’t make my head hurt worse) and made little efforts here and there to be helpful for the rest of that day and several days after.

“Children need to know when Mother has a headache” means not only my initial understanding about children having lower expectations of Mom when she’s not feeling well, but also allowing the children to tap into their reserves of compassion and giving them opportunities to step up and help out more. (Some of this is also, certainly, the difference between having all small children versus having big kids.) I keep thinking about how all my irritation seemed soothed once I realized they didn’t know what I was dealing with, and how sweet they were about it once they found out. 

I’d actually been working on sharing more with the kids recently, but from the opposite perspective — I’d been making a point to share with all of them the various successes they each had (a good test grade, a great catch during the baseball game, a good job helping to clean the house) and those of me and my husband (a good day at work for him, and the amazing honor I had recently of being selected one of Saratoga TODAY’s Saratoga County Women of Influence), so that we can all celebrate together. It’s been so fun to see how happy we all are for each other, and thinking of little ways to mark our achievements (getting ice cream from King’s Dairy is our current favorite).

I think often of how the family is the first school, and how “as the family goes, so goes the world.” All of the good parts and hard parts of being in a family help prepare all of its members for life and relationships outside the family. I know for sure that being privy on a very intimate level to the inner workings and vulnerabilities of each of the members of my household has helped me to be more understanding, patient, and compassionate with those outside my family, and in these recent instances of sharing sickness and success with my kids, I can see that they also are learning that people are often dealing with things you can’t see, that sometimes more is required of us than at other times, and also that no success is too small to celebrate with ice cream. Those are pretty good life lessons!

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 16, 14, 12, 11, 9, 7, and 2. Follow her at www.facebook.com/kmtowne23, or email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.

When I was a child, I remember asking my father why “they” didn’t just print enough money so that everyone could be rich. 

It seemed so obvious! It turned out the answer was just as obvious: if they printed that much money, then the money wouldn’t be worth anything. It’s a shame that so many of our policy makers have yet to grasp the lesson I learned at the age of ten.

Inflation, at its simplest, occurs when too many dollars chase too few goods. That seems very straightforward, but the effects and implications are more complicated and far-reaching. The Fed tells us they are willing to accept higher inflation in order to support a more “equitable recovery.”

In the last year the government has spent more than $5 Trillion on Covid-related programs, stimulus, tax breaks, etc. In a normal year the amount of money in circulation increases by about 6%. Last year that figure jumped to 27%. Consequently, many businesses have reported record earnings. What you aren’t seeing, though, is that these businesses are not also reporting record production. In fact, supply chains are still stretched incredibly thin as factories struggle to ramp up production. 

The government-induced labor shortage isn’t helping the problem, as generous unemployment benefits keep many would-be workers at home. People are being paid to purchase good they aren’t producing. As inventories dwindle, the cost of the remaining supply should continue to spike and the cost of labor continues to rise. Consequently, the local Burger King is posting jobs starting at $15.25, and teen employment is the highest it’s been in more than two decades. 

The Fed tells us they believe the current jump in inflation to be temporary, but supply chains cannot be turned on like a light. Already running at twice the Fed’s target rate, if inflation increases and becomes persistent, the Fed will need to take action, which can be risky and damaging in the long run. 

Since interest rates are essentially the price of money, when inflation runs too hot, the Fed will typically make it more expensive to access that money by increasing interest rates. This can lead to larger systemic issues, especially if they hit the brakes too hard.

The 1970s were characterized by persistent inflation hovering around 7% per year. In order to counter this, the Fed raised rates in the 1980s. By 1981 the average rate for a 30-year mortgage was more than 18%, and rates for new cars were up to 15%.

Think about what happens to the market for homes, or any other goods, when interest rates are that high. People are less willing to move across the country for a better job, if it means selling a home with a 4% mortgage to buy a home at 18%. Renters will be priced out of the market, and home construction decreases. People are going to drive their cars longer, rather than replacing them. Businesses who produce these goods, as well as the factories in which they are made, and the tools with which to make them, not to mention the raw materials they are comprised of, become less profitable and have to lay-off workers.

As you can imagine, the first three years of the 80s were spent in recession, and double-digit mortgage rates continued through the remainder of the decade.

Many of the policies put in place to get us through Covid were intended to help the most vulnerable in our communities which, of course, is a laudable goal. The reality, though, is that markets are efficient, not equitable. There are always unintended consequences of any policy decision. Rampant inflation and higher interest rates would be the most damaging to the exact communities these policies are purported to help, and would only exacerbate inequalities that already exist. 

You should continue working closely with your Certified Financial Planner® to monitor the situation. If inflation continues to rise, and the Fed is moved to act, you may need to make changes to your portfolio in order to avoid losses and increase income to match rising costs. Many of your bond positions could be especially sensitive to rises in interest rates, meaning those investments you think of as being “safe” may lose substantial value. If you still haven’t considered refinancing your mortgage, that opportunity may be slipping by. If you are currently unemployed, jumping into the labor pool before benefits end could garner you a higher pay rate than if you wait to seek work along with the other 10 million unemployed workers.

Yes, the Fed could be right, and inflation could subside if production ramps up quickly enough. Half of states have eliminated additional unemployment assistance, which could help that process. The remaining benefits are slated to run out in September.

Time will tell…

Stephen Kyne, CFP® is a Partner at Sterling Manor Financial in Saratoga Springs and Rhinebeck.

Securities offered through Cadaret, Grant & Co., Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services offered through Sterling Manor Financial, LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor or Cadaret Grant & Co., Inc. Sterling Manor Financial and Cadaret, Grant are separate entities.

It’s no surprise that the pandemic led to American families taking up new hobbies to stay busy while remaining socially-isolated. 

Local hobby shop owners are experts when it comes to hobbies that are here to stay. Radio-controlled cars, trucks, drones, helicopters, and boats deliver exciting, high-performance action in cutting-edge designs that continue to capture the imagination long after other things have lost their luster.

Putting the Power in Your Hands

Radio-controlled vehicles speed up the fun factor in your family’s free-time. 

“There are certain things you can take everywhere. We have a really good trail system around here and you can go to the lakes with the boats. There’s just a lot you can do with them,” said Chris Taylor. 

His dad, Ken Taylor, opened Racing City Hobbies, selling radio-controlled vehicles, models and parts, 31 years ago. Father and son bonded over the activity, learning how to work on them and travelling together to races. 

When Ken died three years ago, Chris took over the store, refreshing the stock and expanding its indoor track. 

“It’s a really good raceway- it’s really fun and you see a lot of good action,” said Chris.

The 70 x 36 ft raceway has a 135ft run line. It’s open for racing during the store’s regular business hours. A racing league meets there from September through April. Entries to race were approximately 50 per day, pre-pandemic, a number that has dropped to approximately half of that since (as people instead opted to stay home, building courses and jumps in their own backyards).

Make it Your Own

In addition to their versatility, radio-controlled nitro and electric power vehicles, which come fully-assembled, are also almost infinitely modifiable. 

“There’s a lot you can do with customization, a lot of hands-on building and taking things apart with this hobby,” said Chris.

While buying online becomes a bigger and bigger business daily, it doesn’t hold up to Racing City Hobbies’ knowledge and ability to get you what you want faster.

“We’ve been in business for a long time and we have a great reputation, so we’re a high priority for manufacturers when it comes to getting new things and parts,” he said. 

There’s also a huge community, online manuals, and YouTube videos to give you even more tips and ideas.

“A lot easier to work on them than people might think. It’s really just nuts and bolts stuff – it’s really simple,” said Chris.

Leave ‘em in Your Tracks

Selling the latest radio-controlled vehicles, rockets, models and trains, Adirondack Train and Hobby in Saratoga Springs has been in business continually since 1990. 

Seeing the joy that these hobbies bring to adults who are just discovering them, and to the ones that are sharing something they’ve already become passionate about with their own kids, these local shops are the place to go to leave the stress in its dust. 

For more information, visit Racing City Hobbies at www.shoprch.com, Adirondack Train and Hobby at www.adirondackhobby.com, or find them both on Facebook.

WHAT’S NEW THIS MONTH!
…adding new programs all the time.

MAY IS MEMBERSHIP MONTH!

Members are the backbone of our organization and help ensure the continuity of our mission. If you’re not yet a member, or if you’ve let your membership lapse, now is the time to be part of the family.Already a member? Consider purchasing a membership as a gift for a friend, family member or scholarship a senior in need. It’s $25 a year, and with a membership, you instantly get access to our services. Memberships can be purchased online at saratogaseniorcenter.org/membership. If you have any questions call the Center: 518-584-1621.

RAFFLE! 

Celebrate the gorgeous month of May by winning a great basket for Memorial Day: Koozie cooler, throw blanket, bottle of wine, flowers and a cake from Bread Basket Bakery. Raffle tickets are $15. BONUS! Purchase a $25 membership and $15 raffle ticket and get an extra raffle ticket. Call 518-584-1621 to purchase your ticket. Sponsored by United Healthcare.

OUR TENTS ARE BACK!

Weather permitting, we will hold classes, presentations and more on the lawn under the tents! Take advantage of our outdoor space and enjoy the Center again.

CHIT CHAT & MUSIC GROUPS ARE BACK! 

Mondays •  1 p.m. at the Center
Facilitated by Abby and Jackie, Summer Skidmore Interns. Join us for a fun hour of chit chat, laughs and music! Meet new friends and connect with old ones! 

GENTLE YOGA FLOW with Leanne

Tuesdays • 11:30 a.m. via ZOOM      
Leanne will be leading a Gentle Yoga Flow class on ZOOM! Let’s give Leanne a warm welcome, try her class.

WE ARE BACK! GOLF LEAGUE

Tuesdays • 9 a.m.
Call the Front Desk if you are interested in joining our golf league. We play 9 holes at Spa State Park on Tuesdays usually around 9 a.m. We would love for the league to grow. We are looking for someone to assist the front desk in facilitating the league. 

BINGO & SOUP! 

Wednesdays • 12 p.m. 
Bingo: 12:30 p.m. Join us for homemade soup, $3 per cup and then try your luck at a rousing game of Bingo!

“WHY NOT WEDNESDAYS” SOCIAL CLUB

Wednesdays • 5 p.m. via ZOOM 
Our first meet together! We are having so much fun in our Social group! We laugh, share stories, sip on tea or our favorite wine! First in person get-together is Wednesday May 19, 4 p.m. at the Center under the tent! Bring snacks and your favorite beverage.

BREAKFAST & LEARN! 

Thursday, May 20 • 9:30 a.m. • $5 at the Center 
Under the tent weather permitting. Guest presenter is Maria Spagnola, Home Instead. Maria will discuss “Stress Management.” We all could use a little help managing our stress in these trying times. Please sign up as seating is limited.

VAN TRIPS ARE BACK! 

Lunch Bunch • Friday, May 14
Raindancer Restaurant. Enjoy lunch at the iconic traditional American restaurant in Amsterdam. After lunch stop at Waterwheel Village Country Store for here amazing cheese and an excellent selection of craft beers, old fashion candy more. We leave the Center at 11 a.m. Pay $10 at sign up. Please bring additional money for lunch and shopping. 

Dakota Ridge Llama Farm Tuesday, May 25
Do not miss this unique opportunity for a working farm tour at Dakota Ridge in Ballston Spa. You will have a personal hands-on experience as we bring out a llama for you to pet, brush, feed and walk. The tour will be outdoors so dress appropriately! Afterwards we’ll stop for lunch at Carson’s Woodside Tavern. Pay $20 at sign up. Please bring additional money for lunch. Leave at 10:30 a.m. Return about 3 p.m. 

Van Trip Protocol – Van trips are open to members only. You must sign up with the front desk. Masks must be worn on the van.

THE SENIOR CENTER IS THE PLACE TO BE!   

TUESDAY “TO-GO” MEALS
Every Tuesday the Senior Center will offer “To-Go” meals for curbside pick-up from 3-4:30 p.m. We ask that you preorder meals by 4 p.m. the day before: 518-584-1621. Sponsored by The Home of the Good Shepherd and Humana. 

• Tuesday, May 18: Chicken Stir Fry $11 hosted by Senior Center Staff. 
• Tuesday, May 25: Creamy Vegetable Soup $3. Available at 11 a.m. Hosted by Senior Center Staff. 

2021 EXCURSIONS
Collette Tours. Open to the Public

Alaska Discovery Land & Cruise
September 11-22, 2021

Pacific Northwest -Washington, Oregon & California
October 4-11, 2021

Greece Island Hopper
October 16 -26, 2021

Canyon Country Feat. Arizona & Utah
October 20 -27, 2021

Christmas on The Danube River Cruise
December 2-10, 2021

Spotlight on Sante Fe
December 5-10, 2021

JUST ADDED! Details Coming!

Spotlight on South Dakota
End of September

Bluegrass Country & The Smokey Mountains
Mid October

BUS TRIPS 2021

Maine ft. Portland & Kennenbunkport
September 20-23, 2021

Foxwoods & Mohegan Sun
October 25 – 27, 2021 • $287

ONE DAY BUS TRIPS Details Coming!

Friesians of Majesty (rescheduled from last year)
Sonnenburg Mansion and Boat Ride on Lake Canandaguia, New York City and More!

“In order to manage risk, we must first understand risk…. What makes it so risky?”

This is a classic line from an episode of Seinfeld that was on last week. George had to give a presentation about risk management, a subject about which he knew nothing. I was reminded that risk is something most people either misunderstand, or don’t completely understand, so I think a quick refresher is in order. 

When people think of risk within their portfolio they typically only think of equity risk; that is the risk that the value of their stock investments will decline. While equity risk is an important factor to consider, there are several other types of risk inherent to your portfolio that you may not be as familiar with, and which can be just as impactful as equity risk.

In order to counter equity risk, many people will invest a portion of their portfolio in bonds. While this can help smooth out the volatility of their portfolio, bonds are not without risk themselves. Not the least of these risks is interest rate risk. This is the risk that interest rates will rise, which can force the value of bonds to decline. With interest rates at or near record lows, interest rate risk should be a major consideration when constructing your portfolio.

Let’s say you’re a bank, and for the last year you’ve been writing mortgages at 3%. Many banks will sell their mortgages to other banks. If interest rates increase to 5%, how likely will you be to find a buyer for your 3% mortgages? It will be difficult, and you’ll probably need to lower your price to entice a buyer and compensate for the rate difference. The same thing can happen with many of the bonds in your portfolio.

There is a fallacy out there that bonds are “safer” than other investment vehicles, and that a person’s portfolio should drastically shift toward bonds upon retirement. As an industry, financial professionals have not done a good enough job of combatting this line of thinking. 

One reason this is untrue is another type of risk: concentration risk. This type of risk occurs when a portfolio is tipped too heavily to one type of investment and is a result of having too many correlated investments. Stocks, bonds, commodities, real estate, etc., behave differently under different conditions; they are uncorrelated. When you have too much concentration in just one type of investment, they can all move in the same direction at the same time. This includes down!

Inflation risk and longevity risk go hand-in-hand. 

Inflation risk is the risk that your assets aren’t growing enough to outpace inflation. I’ve met many people invested primarily in CDs, who think their money is safe. In truth, because of inflation risk, they are simply losing money safely. Mitigating inflation risk to help ensure your assets maintain purchasing power is an important consideration in constructing and managing your portfolio.

Longevity risk is simply the risk that you will exhaust your assets before you die. The key to defeating longevity risk is in understanding how hard your assets must work in order to help ensure you are able to maintain your standard of living. Once you have determined how aggressively you must be invested, you can arrive at an investment mix which is appropriate. If you undergo a formal analysis to help make this determination, you may find that you are actually more aggressive than you need to be.

Managing risk is a trade-off. For example, in order to minimize inflation and longevity risk, you may need to subject yourself to more equity risk.

Once you have a better understanding of the various types of risk affecting your portfolio, you will start to view your investments in a different way. You’ll suddenly realize that a 100% bond portfolio can be very risky, when you account for interest rate, longevity, inflation, and concentration risks. In fact, a 100% bond portfolio can have more total risk than a portfolio consisting of 60% stocks and 40% bonds! 

Work closely with your Certified Financial Planner professional to better understand the types of risk you are facing, and how best to manage them. Together you can devise a plan that’s sensitive to your unique circumstances.

Stephen Kyne, CFP® is a Partner at Sterling Manor Financial in Saratoga Springs and Rhinebeck.

Securities offered through Cadaret, Grant & Co., Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services offered through Sterling Manor Financial, LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor or Cadaret Grant & Co., Inc. Sterling Manor Financial and Cadaret, Grant are separate entities.

In light of Mother’s day that just passed, let’s discuss some of the common aches and pains that new mothers commonly experience.

Most new moms expect to deal with their fair share of pain and discomfort during pregnancy, but some may be disappointed to discover that it doesn’t end there.  Those discomforts just tend to shift and change.  Repetitive bending and lifting can put strain on the low back.  Constant holding and looking down at baby can overwork the muscles of the shoulders and upper back and strain the neck.  Stiffness of the SI joints can occur as your body recovers from pregnancy and birth and ligaments tighten back up.  The good news is there are ways to combat and prevent these pains so you can focus more on enjoying your new bundle of joy.

• Bend from the knees and hinge at your hips to pick up the baby.
• Use a taller changing table when changing baby’s diapers so you don’t have to bend over. (Never leave baby unattended on elevated changing tables or any surface they could potentially fall off of.)
• Use a foot rest to elevate your feet while feeding or sitting with baby.
• Whether breast or bottle feeding, use a nursing pillow when feeding baby.
• Stretch daily to loosen tight muscles and ligaments.
• Go see your chiropractor to help with joint mobility and postural imbalances.
• Get a massage to work out trigger points and muscle tension.

Having just celebrated Mother’s Day this past weekend many individuals can feel a mix of dread, sadness, regret and pain. Mother’s Day can trigger a traumatic pain response if you have/had a difficult, complex relationship with your Mother.

Our first introduction into the world comes through our Mothers. Whether we feel safe, secure and valued starts the minute we are born as early attachment forms.  If this attachment is not formed in a healthy way, we can spend our adult lives trying to heal from something that feels incurable.

As we grow into adolescence and adulthood, the inner voice that we develop that governs how we think and feel models the voice of the parent we had the most conflict with.  If you had an overly critical, difficult to please Mother or Mother figure in your life, the inner voice you have will model that criticism and judgement to yourself and everyone around you.

The only way to heal from the inside out and move past poor parent attachment is to become the parent you wanted and needed.  For example, if every Mother’s Day you try to please your difficult Mother by sending cards, spending time with her, visiting her home and then feeling a giant emotional hangover from your time together, it’s time to let the healthy parent step in and offer some guidance and support.

This starts by becoming the parent you needed as a young child. For example, instead of spending another holiday trying to please your difficult parent, you stop and pause. How would I protect my younger self in this situation? You have to begin to work on forming a healthy bond and attachment with your spirit, heart and soul and begin to set the boundaries you didn’t have as a child.

When I work with individuals who have complicated relationships with their mother, the question I get the most is, “Isn’t that so mean, I mean this person is my mother, don’t I owe her?” 

No doubt guilt can be overwhelming and difficult to navigate; however, when you abandon yourself to please a difficult parent, you continue the cycle of dysfunction and pass the baton down to the next generation.

The most wonderful, healthy gift you can give yourself every single day when the sun comes up is to be the parent you wanted and needed. This means taking care of yourself in the small basic ways, healthy food, water, rest. It also means taking care of yourself in the more emotionally complex ways as well.  You would never want your child around a dysfunctional person so why continue to put yourself in toxic situations at the hopes of pleasing an impossible to please person?

The key to healing is to start with you. Don’t spend another Mother’s Day feeling guilty, stressed out, angry. Stop the cycle today and start to be the Mother you wanted and needed yourself TODAY and EVERY DAY.

You are worth it!

Meghan Lemery Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing teletherapy at Fritz, Stanger & Associates.  For more information visit www.fritzstanger.com

I was reading over my columns for the past few months, and was marveling at the fact that, while my January and February articles were pandemic-focused (like almost all of last year’s), I actually wrote about other things in March and April! I read an article recently that argued there wouldn’t be a “stop” to the pandemic — a particular day on which we’d all be free of this scourge — but that it would be a gradual process. Like, one day you’d realize that it’s been over, or in the process of being over, for a while. The fact that I found other things to write about for the last two months is, I think, one of those things — a part of the process of the pandemic ending in our part of the world.

In fact, my life these days is a definite mixture of Pandemic and Before Times (which I guess are technically After Times). My big boys played Fall sports in March and April, which was thrilling — watching them run Cross Country is one of my very favorite things.

They were all on the same team, which made my chauffeuring duties pretty easy, but now they’re playing baseball and they’re not on the same team, and each night as I drag myself to bed earlier than usual, I’m remembering how exhausting spring has always been with all the baseball teams and practices and games and who needs to be where when (usually at the exact same time that another boy has to be at his field across town). Since we didn’t do our normal spring stuff last year, I’d forgotten a little how intense it can be.

In February I wrote about how sorry I am that my youngest especially has missed out on seeing some of the people that have always been a part of my daily motherhood — our friends at the grocery stores and the Triangle Diner particularly — but since then, I’ve actually felt comfortable enough to bring him to the store with me a few times! And my mom and I are planning a diner date very soon.

At the same time that these marks of “normalcy” are back in our lives, though, the pandemic is clearly still with us. I can’t imagine that I’ll ever be able to remember without crying how it prevented one of my boys from running in the Cross Country League Championship. I know such a thing is small potatoes compared to the loss of life and other horrors of the last year both locally and globally, and my son himself has a better sense of perspective about the whole thing than I do, but the toll all this has taken on young people is heartbreaking to me. I had to buy new masks recently, as the slow losing of them in backpacks and in the wash finally caught up with us. I was really hoping that the last bunch I bought was, in fact, the last — that the end of masking would come before I had to buy more — but no. The fact that it’s spring allergy season and allergy symptoms are similar to COVID symptoms adds an interesting layer of nervousness to daily life. And the hold this horrible virus currently has in India is a stark reminder that the pandemic is not over and that suffering and death continue.

I heard on the radio recently some tips about easing back into normal life, because some people are experiencing anxiety now that things are opening back up. I saw that some (many?) vaccination sites are no longer requiring appointments — you can just show up. I was able to attend my boys’ Cross Country meets in large part because my husband was still working from home so I could leave some of the kids with him, but now he’s back to work at the office so attending the baseball games isn’t as easy. I check the COVID stats for Saratoga County every morning and have been watching the number of positive cases decrease and plateau and decrease again since the peak back in the winter. This time is such a mix of good news and bad news, cautious optimism and frustrating setbacks, things getting easier and things getting harder, but it all seems to be heading in the right direction.

A history professor I know said that he recommends reading diaries and journals from times of plague and epidemics to see how it affected the daily life of regular people — I think of this column that way, both Before, when it was a record of motherhood in Saratoga Springs in the first part of the twenty-first century, and now, when it’s a record of motherhood in Saratoga Springs during the COVID pandemic. I imagine one day someone will read this account of life here, now, and have hope that time marches on and bad things eventually end.

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 16, 14, 12, 11, 9, 7, and 2. Follow her at www.facebook.com/kmtowne23, or email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.

AS WE HEAD INTO SPRING, warmer weather and a season of more light, we may take a look outside at our lawns and flower beds and see that we have some work to do. 

Before you can make room for new growth you have to prepare the soil, clear out the old and have a vision for what you would like to plant.

If you feel stuck in old patterns and it feels like you are far away from the vision you have for what you want emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually, start clearing away the old.

One of the quickest ways to feel better about old habits is to start clearing out your physical space. Take small steps by clearing out a closet or drawer at a time and get rid of anything you don’t like or use.  This action step will help you feel less overwhelmed and anxious in every day life.

Once you have begun to work on your physical space, take some time to think about what you want to change in all areas of your life.  Start thinking about the people you spend time with and ask yourself if you feel refreshed and energized after time together.  If the answer is that you feel drained and grumpy, it’s time to pull the weeds and make room for healthier relationships in your life.

Part of growing and improving our mindset is to reflect on what we have outgrown.  Sometimes we hang onto the weeds because we think we have to, we feel guilty pulling them, or we are afraid to let go.

Any person, place or thing that keeps you from growing is a weed in your life.  Take inventory on your garden of the people in your life and begin to pull the weeds out. 

Spring is a time of renewed hope, energy and light.  Take the time you need this month to do an inventory of the weeds in your life and begin to pull them from the root.  Every time you deal with a weed in your life, you make room for new growth, opportunity, energy and joy. 

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

For more information visit www.fritzstanger.com or email fritzstanger@gmail.com

I was talking with someone recently about what my boy house is like, and I was laughing at the ways that my boys consistently think about things differently than how I do now, or how I did when I was their ages. For example, there are some things that they, as a group, really seem to hate, like:

PRINCESS MOVIES, AND DOLLS
My boys have zero interest in any of the Barbie-type movies and other princess-y shows that I see listed on Netflix in the kid section, which I get, but the movies and shows they do watch sometimes get a little close to the “princess movie” line than they like, especially when it comes to romance. 

Even in their Star Wars and superhero movies, there’s often a romantic subplot and any time they catch a whiff of it they start yelling, “Don’t even think about kissing!” I put “The Little Mermaid” on recently for the little ones, which I know is the kind of movie that tests their patience, but we hadn’t seen it in a while, and I wanted to watch it with them. I thought my seven-year-old actually enjoyed it, as he watched it quietly all the way through, but when Ariel and Eric shared their final kiss, he said, “If this movie was the exact opposite, it would be a lot better.”

They also hate dolls. I’ll never forget how one of my boys had nightmares after seeing my niece’s baby doll with eyes that open and close.

CLEAN CLOTHES, AND BEING WARM
When I do the boys’ laundry, I fold it and put it in piles on their desks — this is the signal that they are to put their clothes away. Our laundry set-up is unconventional in that no one has a dresser (there isn’t enough space in their bedrooms); rather, they each have shelves or drawers of their own in the laundry/mudroom. Despite the fact that a couple of them are fairly particular about wanting to have a supply of clean clothes, which would seem to negate the idea that they hate clean clothes, they all are terrible about putting their clothes away in a manner that preserves the clothes’ cleanliness. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found remnants of their pile of clean clothes toppled off their desks onto the floor and then apparently walked on and kicked around for a couple of days. Most of them shove the neatly folded piles onto their shelves or into their drawers, which, as you all know, is not the way to keep things neat and unwrinkled. We had family pictures taken recently and I’d washed everyone’s chosen outfits the night before — it was a special thrill for me that everyone was wearing clean clothes, which isn’t something that could be counted on when everyone was little — and the first thing one of them did when we arrived at the place for the pictures was roll around on the ground. So he’s in our photos with muddy knees. 

They also hate being warm. Every day during the winter they argued with me when I told them that, yes, they need to wear winter coats and pants when they leave the house when it’s colder than 30 degrees.

PLEASANT FAMILY RIDES, AND QUIET OF ANY KIND
Ever since we started having kids, my husband and I have used car rides as a way of maintaining (or restoring!) our sanity. It’s always been a relief to buckle the kids into the van, especially after a long day of misbehaving — they’re safe and restrained and I have them seated in such a way that I’ve tried to keep apart the boys who cause trouble together. When they were all little, it was heaven. But as they’ve gotten older, it’s become less and less peaceful to have them all in the van together. They constantly bother each other by pulling on each other’s seat belts, pulling each other’s hair (they all have short hair, but when they’re determined to torment each other, they find a way), throwing things at each other, putting their feet on each other’s seats, sitting too close, sitting too far, having private conversations that they yell at other brothers about wanting to hear … any time all the boys are in the van, I spend a good amount of time yelling at everyone to, “Turn around! Quiet down! Stop bothering your brother!” 

They really just seem to hate quiet of any kind. I’ve been marveling recently at how loud our house is — the noise has increased exponentially as the boys have gotten older, and I myself have reached decibels I didn’t know I was capable of in trying to have myself heard over the din.

It could be as much a pack mentality as anything else — each of them on their own can be quiet (I’ve seen it!), and on their own they might not mind a love story every now and again (especially if there are also weapons), and I know some of them have tendencies toward order and cleanliness, but the opinions presented above seem to be ones they can all agree on when they’re together. Or at least when they’re within earshot of me, and that might be part of it too — they definitely love to drive their mother crazy! I’ll tell you what, though: when I’m not yelling, I’m often laughing — what personalities these kids have! It’s such a privilege to watch them grow up.

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 16, 14, 12, 11, 9, 7, and 2. Follow her at www.facebook.com/kmtowne23, or email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.