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Adoption: More Than One Story, More Than One Conversation


November is National Adoption Month, an opportunity to learn more about adoption and the many people whose lives it touches. Its roots date to a Massachusetts adoption awareness week in 1976, followed by National Adoption Week in 1984 and a monthlong observance in 1995. The effort began by drawing attention to children in foster care who needed permanent families. Today, the national campaign continues that focus, particularly for teens, while November also encourages broader conversations about adoption.

For some Saratoga readers, adoption is a possibility they are beginning to explore. For others, it is part of their family, friendships, or personal history. Its reach is considerable: the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption’s 2022 U.S. Adoption and Foster Care Attitudes Survey, conducted by The Harris Poll, found that 40% of U.S. adults had a family member or close friend who was adopted.

That makes adoption relevant to conversations throughout our community, in families, schools, workplaces, and everyday relationships.

My husband and I chose Saratoga Springs when we relocated in 2011, and we have loved raising our three sons here. As a mother and aunt through adoption, I have experienced the joy of building a family this way, while continuing to learn about the distinct experiences and questions adoption can bring.

My extended family and friendships also include many adoption connections, each with different experiences and perspectives.

If you know one adoption story, you know one adoption story.

Two birth mothers, two adoptees, or two adoptive parents may have similar experiences, or very different ones.

Parents through adoption navigate the same everyday joys, challenges, milestones, and questions as other parents. We also parent through an additional lens: adoption. Learning about that lens helps us consider how our children’s beginnings, relationships, identities, and experiences may shape their lives.

Adoption has evolved significantly over the decades, but some familiar assumptions have not kept pace. For much of the twentieth century, private adoptions were commonly closed, with little or no contact or identifying information exchanged. Today, most domestic infant adoptions involve some degree of openness, which may include sharing information, photographs, letters, or time together.

Every situation is different, but every family can encourage openness in conversation: talking honestly about a child’s beginnings, honoring their history, and welcoming questions as they grow.

The way people think, feel, and talk about adoption can change with age, development, experiences, relationships, and milestones. Adoption is not a one-time conversation. It is an ongoing dialogue that takes different forms throughout life.

Families come together through domestic infant adoption, adoption from foster care, international adoption, and kinship adoption. Within each path are individual stories shaped by different circumstances, relationships, and experiences.

For anyone beginning to explore adoption, an adoption professional or attorney experienced in adoption can be a helpful first point of contact. They can explain available paths, answer initial questions, and provide guidance about laws and procedures, which vary by state.

Beyond those first steps, I encourage prospective parents and parents already raising a family through adoption to ask:

What can I learn from adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents?

How can I honor my child’s beginnings, family history, and cultural heritage?

How can I make our home a place where questions and curiosity are welcome?

What support might our family need over time?

These questions invite us to think beyond how a family begins and toward the relationships we will continue building.

Like many life experiences, adoption can bring different feelings at the same time. Love and joy can exist alongside sadness or grief related to separation, loss, or unanswered questions. Understanding begins with acknowledging these feelings without judging them as good or bad.

Conversations need not always be formal or difficult. A children’s book, a photograph, or a school assignment can offer a natural opening. Sometimes, when someone chooses to share, the most helpful response is simply, “Tell me more about that.”

We can listen with curiosity, ask thoughtful follow-up questions, and acknowledge what we do not know. We can offer invitations without pressing for answers and remember that personal details are someone’s choice to share.

Friends, relatives, and educators can help in practical ways. Teachers can adapt assignments that ask for birth photographs or biological family history. Family, friends, and co-workers can welcome questions and listen to how each person describes their own experience.

My graduate work in applied positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania deepened my interest in how conversations strengthen relationships and support well-being. That connection is central to my BEACON Communication Model, which offers a practical way to begin with someone’s story, explore meaning, acknowledge strengths, connect, remain open to possibilities, and navigate forward.

Through my work with SoulFilling, LLC, I aim to broaden the adoption conversation and make it more natural, meaningful, and ongoing.

This November, we can recognize how adoption has evolved, appreciate the many ways families are formed, and remain open to the different stories and experiences adoption holds.

If you know one adoptee, you know one adoptee. If you know one birth mother, you know one birth mother. If you know one adoptive parent, you know one adoptive parent.

There is always more than one story, and more than one conversation.

Francine Apy, MAPP, is a Communication Strategist, People & Culture Consultant, Author, and Creator of the BEACON Communication Model, which she teaches in workplace, family, and community settings. Her children’s books reflect different ways adoption can appear in stories: Brianna’s Brave Day at School, based on a true story, addresses adoption directly, while Dream Dream What Will You Dream? includes a subtle acknowledgment through the adoption symbol.

For adoption resources, information about her books, or details about BEACON, visit FrancineApy.com or contact Francine@FrancineApy.com.

How to Warm Up Before Pickleball: A Simple Routine to Prepare Your Body

Pickleball may look relatively easy compared with some high-intensity sports, but it involves plenty of quick movements. Players frequently accelerate, stop, change direction, reach overhead, and rotate their torso. A good warm-up can help prepare your muscles and joints for those demands while gradually raising your heart rate.

The goal isn’t to exhaust yourself before the first serve. Instead, spend about 8–12 minutes getting your body warm, moving your joints through comfortable ranges of motion, and practicing movements similar to those you’ll use on the court.

1. Start With Easy Movement

Begin with 3–5 minutes of light aerobic activity. Walk briskly around the court, lightly jog, or perform an easy side-to-side shuffle.

This first phase gradually increases circulation and body temperature. Keep the intensity comfortable—you should feel warmer and more mobile rather than tired.

2. Mobilize Your Major Joints

Next, spend a couple of minutes moving your joints through controlled, comfortable ranges of motion.

Try:

• Arm circles: Make small circles and gradually increase their size.

• Shoulder rolls: Roll your shoulders forward and backward.

• Torso rotations: Rotate gently from side to side while keeping your feet planted.

• Hip circles: Move your hips through slow, controlled circles.

• Ankle circles: Lift one foot slightly and rotate the ankle in both directions.

Avoid forcing any movement or bouncing aggressively into a stretch.

3. Add Dynamic Leg Movements

Pickleball requires repeated lunges, shuffles, and changes of direction, so give your legs some sport-specific preparation.

Try:

• Walking lunges: Take controlled steps forward, lowering into a comfortable lunge.

• High-knee marching: Lift each knee toward your waist while walking.

• Heel-to-glute walks: Bring your heel toward your buttocks with each step.

• Lateral shuffles: Shuffle several steps in each direction at an easy pace.

• Bodyweight squats: Perform several slow, comfortable squats.

The emphasis should be on controlled movement rather than maximum depth or speed.

4. Gradually Increase the Pace

Once you’re moving comfortably, spend 2–3 minutes practicing pickleball-specific movements.

For example, start with gentle lateral shuffles and gradually make them quicker. Add short forward-and-back movements, controlled lunges, and brief changes of direction.

You can also practice a few easy swings with your paddle. Begin with relaxed groundstrokes and gradually incorporate volleys and overhead movements.

This gives your body an opportunity to transition from general exercise to the movements you’ll actually perform during play.

5. Save Static Stretching for Later

A common warm-up mistake is spending several minutes holding deep stretches before playing. For most recreational athletes, the pre-game routine is better centered on dynamic movement rather than long, static stretches.

If you enjoy stretching, gentle mobility work can be included in your warm-up. Longer static stretches can be saved for after play or another part of your training routine.

A Sample 10-Minute Pickleball Warm-Up

Here’s an easy routine you can use before recreational play:

Minutes 0–3: Brisk walk or easy jog

Minutes 3–5: Arm circles, shoulder rolls, torso rotations, hip circles, and ankle circles

Minutes 5–7: Walking lunges, high-knee marches, heel-to-glute walks, and bodyweight squats

Minutes 7–9: Lateral shuffles, forward/backward movements, and controlled changes of direction

Minutes 9–10: Easy paddle swings, volleys, and a few gradually faster movements

By the time you step onto the court, you should feel warm, loose, and ready to move—not fatigued.

Don’t Ignore Pain

A warm-up should not cause sharp, worsening, or unusual pain. If a movement hurts, stop and modify it rather than trying to push through it. Persistent pain, swelling, or an injury that affects your ability to move normally may warrant evaluation by a qualified healthcare professional.Players who are returning after an injury, have a medical condition, or are significantly changing their exercise routine may also benefit from individualized guidance from a healthcare professional.

The Bottom Line

A good pickleball warm-up doesn’t have to be complicated. Start with light aerobic movement, mobilize your joints, activate your legs and core, and gradually rehearse the quick movements and swings you’ll use during the game.

Think warm, mobile, and ready—not tired. A consistent 8–12-minute routine can be an easy way to prepare for the demands of pickleball and start your game feeling ready to move. Questions, call our office any time.

Dr Matt smith has been a chiropractor in Saratoga Springs for forty years, He and his daughter, Dr Kevy Smith Minogue practice at 50 Seward Street. Online appointments can be made at WWW.MySaratogaChiropractor.Com

Until Next Summer

I’m writing this on one of those brilliant October days that people think of when they think of how much they love October, where the orange leaves pop against the autumn blue sky and the acorns drop noisily onto the sidewalk and the smell of the heat coming on in the house as the temperatures drop in the late afternoon reminds me of how cozy the coming months can be. I’ve always loved the fall the best of all the seasons, hands down, and vastly more than hot, hot summer, but this year I’m needing October in a different way because I am still trying to get over the fact that summer is, in fact, over.

For most of my life, I admit I didn’t really love the summer. As a child, of course I loved summer vacation, but I also loved school (yes, I was one of those kids), and I’ve always, always, always hated the heat. The summer was always too hot, and I don’t like to be hot. It was too humid and I dislike humidity even more than heat. July was the worst month of the whole year to me — it was the hottest, the most humid, and the longest without any redeeming features (other than my mom’s birthday, which is a nice redeeming feature). There was still school in June, and in August is my birthday, our annual family getaway to the lake, and the excitement of getting ready for school, but July was just one long sweaty bake.

When I got a little older, in college and after, summers had the thrill of trips with friends, and my husband and I started dating during the summer, and four of my babies were born in the summer, so the warm weather does carry with it happy memories, but summers were traditionally when I worked more, sweated more, and slept more uncomfortably.

When I started having my babies, I continued to prefer other times of the year to summer. When our house was full of young children, the summer didn’t bring with it any kind of vacation for me, it wasn’t any different for me from the rest of the year except that it was hotter, dirtier, smellier, more uncomfortable, and the sun set later, which made bedtimes more difficult. When the boys were older, I rejoiced with them that they had a reprieve from school for the summer, but then they started having summer jobs, and I myself went back to work part time when my oldest was seventeen, which was at Siena and done mostly during the school year but also involved a summer program for all of July and one week of August (evenings), so I no longer had summers “off.” I enjoyed the work and was grateful for the job and its flexibility with our family schedule, but it did nothing to contribute to an increase of affection for summer.

I never, ever expected to change my mind about the summer, but this past summer was kind of glorious, and I have been having a really hard time getting back into the school year. 

There were a few reasons why this past summer was amazing:

• For the first time in five years, I didn’t work. My part-time job teaching middle and high school became full time this fall, so my part-time job at Siena was no longer sustainable, which meant I would no longer be working the summer program. 

• I really enjoyed being able to focus so much on my family, and the house also got some much-needed attention.

• The five big boys all had jobs, so there was some chauffeuring, but also some of them can drive themselves when I can spare the van, or walk, or get a ride with someone else, and I’m so, so pleased at how responsible they are.

• The little guys are so self-sufficient! They entertain themselves, bathe themselves, dinners are easier because everyone eats without complaining, bedtime doesn’t have to be so strict during the summer, and at the same time, we can send the little guys to bed without worrying they won’t stay in bed, won’t stay asleep, will cry all night, or whatever.

• Everyone is old enough that my husband and I were able to sneak out for date nights with more frequency and freedom than we’ve ever had. We went out to eat, went out for drinks, saw a band, hung out with friends. 

• Everyone is old enough to travel easily, so trips to see family and friends are much more possible. That said, our van is on its last legs so we weren’t able to travel as much this summer as we’d hoped — but that also meant more stress-free time at home.

• All of my children are proficient swimmers and I no longer worry for their safety at the beach.

• My third baby was still at home this summer, his last summer before going away to college.

It was so impossible to imagine these kinds of days when the boys were all tiny. I loved those days and miss my little boys, but these days and these big boys are so great. It was a really great summer.

But now it’s fall, and definitely one of the things getting me through is fall sports — I’m submitting this on a day that my fifth and sixth have a Cross Country meet after school that I can’t wait to go to. We’ll spend a beautiful afternoon outside on a cool, sunny fall day and get dinner at Stewart’s on our way home, which has become our post-race tradition. I look forward to Cross Country meets all week! Also, the holidays are coming, and what’s better than the holidays?! I’m grateful that we had such a great summer and I can’t wait for the next one, but I’m glad we’re settling into the cozy time of year.

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 22, 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, and 8. Email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.

Limited Liability Companies in New York – How they might be useful to you

I have gotten a lot of questions lately regarding limited liability companies (LLCs).  I thought it might be a topic of general interest, so I assembled a set of questions and answers below describing this important legal tool.

What is an LLC?

An LLC is a legal entity that you can create pursuant to the laws of your state.  Every state in the country has an LLC statute. New York has the New York Limited Liability Company Law (NYLLCL).  You can find the text of the law here:  www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/LLC .

Why create an LLC?

The most common reason to create an LLC is to operate a business.  If you were a plumber, for example, and wanted to start a plumbing business, you could create “ABC Plumbers, LLC”.  People also often create an LLC to own investment properties.  For example, if you bought a duplex to rent out for income, you could create “ABC Properties, LLC” and take title to the duplex in the name of the LLC.

What is the benefit?

If you start the plumbing business in your own name or buy the duplex in your own name, all your assets would potentially be subject to the liabilities of the business or investment property.  For example, if you own the duplex in your own name and someone is injured there and sues you, they could potentially recover against all your personal assets.  Instead, if the duplex is held in an LLC, the person suing can generally only recover against the assets of the LLC.

Are there different types?

Yes.  In addition to LLCs, there are Professional Limited Liability Companies (PLLCs).  PLLCs are created by licensed professionals in New York for their businesses.  For example, if you are a licensed architect in New York and wanted to create an LLC for your business, you could create a PLLC.

What is a Family LLC?

A Family LLC is not a different type of LLC in New York but is simply an LLC owned by members of the same family.  Family LLCs are sometimes used as part of an estate planning strategy to reduce the taxable estate of one of the family members.

How is an LLC created?

You create an LLC by filing Articles of Organization with the New York Department of State.  After the Department of State receives the Articles of Organization, you must publish a Notice of Formation in two newspapers once a week for six weeks.  The newspapers need to be newspapers designated by the County Clerk for that purpose.  In Saratoga County, the Saratoga Today newspaper is such a designated publication.  After the publication is finished, you need to file an Affidavit of Publication from each newspaper with the New York Department of State.

Any other requirements?

Yes.  Every two years after the LLC’s formation, you need to file a Biennial Statement and pay a $9.00 fee with the Department of State.  In addition, if your LLC is active in New York, you may need to file a Form IT-204-LL with the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance and pay a fee.  You may want to seek the assistance of an accountant regarding that requirement.

Is there more to do?

Ideally, after you create an LLC, you should have an initial meeting of the LLC members and adopt an operating agreement.  The LLC operating agreement is the equivalent of by-laws for a corporation, because it states the rules for the conduct of the company.  You should keep minutes of your initial meeting for your LLC’s records.  It is also generally a good idea to hold an annual meeting of the LLC each year.  Special meetings can also be held as necessary.

Do I need a lawyer?

You do not necessarily need a lawyer to create an LLC, but using a lawyer would be helpful in making sure that all of the legal requirements are taken care of.  A lawyer can also be of particular assistance in helping to draft an operating agreement that is appropriate for your business.

How about the name?

If you are interested in a particular name for your LLC, you can search the New York Department of State Business Entity database to see if it is available.  Here is a link to the database:  https://apps.dos.ny.gov/publicInquiry/  If the name is not already taken, it would potentially be available – subject to the approval of the Department of State.

Should I put my house in an LLC?

Generally speaking, you should not put your home in an LLC.  If you do so, it may jeopardize your eligibility for the STAR property tax exemption your eligibility for a capital gains tax exempt ion if you sell your home.

LLCs have a myriad of uses in New York.  You can use them to start a business, own investment property, and do estate planning.  To learn whether forming an LLC is appropriate for you, you should contact a legal professional with experience in working with this flexible legal entity.

Matthew J. Dorsey, Esq. is a Shareholder with O’Connell and Aronowitz, 1 Court Street, Saratoga Springs, NY. Over his twenty-nine years of practice, he has focused in the areas of elder law, estate planning, and estate administration. Mr. Dorsey can be reached at (518)584-5205, mdorsey@oalaw.com and www.oalaw.com.  

How and Why Tax Brackets Actually Work

Few people know that the income tax was unconstitutional until the passage of the Sixteenth Amendment in 1913. Since then, the income tax has been altered in more ways and more times than one could count.

We frequently encounter people who aren’t entirely sure how our income tax system works, so let’s take a moment to demystify it, as well as discuss the rationale behind it and some alternatives. 

Generally speaking, our income tax system is a “progressive” system (not to be confused with the political movement of the same name). In a progressive tax system, a person’s average tax rate becomes progressively higher as their income increases, and for good reason. 

Imagine you were parched and stranded in a desert until you came upon a water salesman. You’d likely be willing to pay any amount of money for a single bottle of water, as its use to you would be immeasurable. Thereafter, each bottle of water that you might purchase is relatively less valuable to you than the one before it. Imagine how little, if any, you’d be willing to pay for your one-millionth bottle. Our income tax system attempts to treat money in the same fashion.

The first dollar you earn each year is relatively more useful to you than your ten-millionth dollar, which is why your first dollar is not taxed at all. In fact, currently, your first $16,100 will come to you completely free of income tax. 

For income taxation purposes, we set different tax rates for different blocks of income, or what we call “tax brackets”. Because each block of income is of relatively less use to you than the block before it, it is taxed at a higher rate. For example, your 16,101st dollar will be taxed at 10%, while your 656,701st gets taxed at a maximum rate of 37%. Each dollar is taxed at a rate that correlates to its bracket and, contrary to popular belief, moving into the next bracket only affects the tax rate on the next dollar you earn; it is not retroactive to your other income. So, if you’re in the highest bracket, you’ve actually paid tax at eight different rates, ranging from 0-37%. 

Not only do you need your first dollar more than your ten-millionth, but people in the lower income brackets benefit relatively less from the services of the government than do people in the highest brackets (contrary to what some may tell you). 

Consider that Jeff Bezos benefits more from roads, bridges, tunnels, railways, and airports for movement of goods around the country than you do. Elon Musk benefits more from government subsidies for rocket development and launches than you do. Mark Zuckerberg benefits more from a highly educated and healthy workforce than you do. They all benefit more from a strong military to defend their interests than you do. Inarguably, the wealthy should shoulder more of the tax burden. 

An alternative system has been proposed in the past. You may have heard of the flat, or “fair” tax. In this construct, every taxpayer would pay the same rate, regardless of income. That sounds great on the surface until you realize that lower-income workers can’t afford to part with as much of their income as those with very high incomes. The result is that you have lower- and middle-class workers subsidizing the very wealthy. In other words, this system is regressive, as the burden falls most heavily on those with the least ability to shoulder it. It’s hard to see the fairness in that. 

This certainly isn’t intended to vilify the wealthy, even if our current oligarchs do resemble a cross between Howard Hughes and a Bond villain. 

At one time or another, we’ve all bought a Powerball ticket and dreamed of the ways we’d spend a billion dollars, only to lament that the government would take half of it. As Americans, and believers in the American Dream, we can all see ourselves being very wealthy. In that way, it sometimes becomes easy to defend the interests of the very wealthy against our own.

Nobody imagines being poor. 

Our progressive income tax system is not a punishment for success. Instead, it reflects the reality of who benefits most from the services provided by our government and attempts to ensure those who benefit most, shoulder most of the costs. 

Stephen Kyne, CFP® is a Partner at Sterling Manor Financial, LLC in Saratoga Springs.

Sterling Manor Financial, LLC is an SEC Registered Investment Advisor and does not provide tax or legal advice, nor is it a third-party administrator. Consult your attorney or accountant prior to implementing any tax or legal strategies.

Back to School: Healthy Habits for a Strong and Successful School Year

The start of a new school year brings new classes, activities, friendships, and routines. It can also mean long hours sitting at a desk, carrying a heavy backpack, spending more time on computers and phones, and adjusting to an earlier schedule.

A few simple health habits can help students start the school year feeling their best and reduce the aches, fatigue, and stress that can come with a busy school routine.

Backpack Safety Matters

Backpacks are an everyday part of school life, but carrying too much weight or wearing a backpack incorrectly can contribute to neck, shoulder, and back discomfort.

Encourage students to:

• Carry only what they need each day.

• Use both shoulder straps rather than carrying the backpack on one shoulder.

• Adjust the straps so the backpack sits comfortably against the back.

• Keep heavier items closer to the middle of the backpack.

• Use a backpack with padded, adjustable straps when possible.

If a backpack causes pain, numbness, tingling, or significant discomfort, it may be time to reassess the backpack’s fit and weight.

Pay Attention to Sitting Posture

Students may spend several hours each day sitting in classrooms, studying, or using computers. Remaining in one position for too long can contribute to stiffness and muscle fatigue.

A comfortable study setup should include:

• Feet supported on the floor or a footrest

• Knees and hips positioned comfortably

• Shoulders relaxed rather than elevated

• The computer screen positioned at a comfortable viewing height

• Frequent opportunities to stand and move

Remember that there is no single “perfect” posture. Changing positions regularly is often more important than trying to maintain one position all day.

Take Movement Breaks

Long periods of sitting can leave students feeling stiff and uncomfortable. Short movement breaks can help.

During homework or screen time, encourage students to periodically:

• Stand up and walk around

• Stretch the arms and shoulders

• Move the neck gently

• Take a few deep breaths

• Change sitting positions

Even brief movement breaks can make long study sessions more comfortable.

Make Sleep a Priority

A new school schedule often means waking up earlier. Establishing a consistent sleep routine can help students adjust.

Helpful habits include:

• Going to bed and waking up at consistent times

• Creating a relaxing bedtime routine

• Limiting stimulating screen use close to bedtime

• Keeping the bedroom comfortable and conducive to sleep

• Avoiding excessive caffeine, particularly later in the day

Adequate sleep supports concentration, mood, physical recovery, and overall well-being.

Stay Active

Schoolwork is important, but regular physical activity should remain part of a student’s routine.

Physical activity can include organized sports, walking, cycling, playground activities, strength training, or simply spending time outdoors.

For students participating in sports, gradually increasing activity and including appropriate warm-ups can help prepare the body for increased physical demands.

Don’t Ignore Persistent Pain

Occasional muscle soreness or fatigue can happen when routines change. Persistent or worsening pain deserves more attention.

Parents and students should consider professional evaluation when pain:

• Continues or repeatedly returns

• Interferes with school, sports, or sleep

• Is associated with weakness, numbness, or tingling

• Follows a significant injury

• Makes normal activities difficult

A chiropractor or physical therapist can evaluate movement, strength, mobility, and other contributing factors and develop an individualized treatment plan when appropriate.

Healthy Habits Start at Home

Parents can help make healthy habits easier by creating routines around sleep, physical activity, homework, meals, and screen time.

Small changes can make a significant difference. A properly fitted backpack, a comfortable study space, regular movement breaks, and a consistent sleep schedule can all contribute to a healthier school year.

Start the School Year Strong

Going back to school is an opportunity to establish healthy habits that can last throughout the year. Encourage students to move regularly, get adequate sleep, carry their backpacks properly, and speak up when something hurts.

A healthy student is better prepared to focus, learn, participate, and enjoy everything the school year has to offer.

If your child is experiencing ongoing back, neck, shoulder, or sports-related pain, a chiropractic or physical therapy evaluation can help determine what may be contributing to the problem and whether treatment or exercise-based care may be appropriate.

Dr Matt smith has been a chiropractor in Saratoga Springs for forty years, He and his daughter, Dr Kevy Smith Minogue practice at 50 Seward Street. Online appointments can be made at WWW.MySaratogaChiropractor.Com

Middle School for Moms

I have only one middle schooler in the house this year, but I’m also entering my third year teaching middle school, so this column of mine from ten years ago still hits! Good luck to all you parents and teachers of middle schoolers!

I read recently about two recent studies that focused on parenting middle schoolers (sixth- through eighth-graders) — one found that parents (especially mothers) of middle schoolers are more stressed than at any other time of their parenthood; the other said that parents’ confidence in their parenting abilities declines during the middle school years.* 

I hadn’t gone looking for information about parenting a middle schooler — an article discussing the two studies popped up in my Facebook newsfeed — but I felt like it made a little more sense of some things that have been going on here.

My two oldest boys are in this age range — one is going into seventh grade, the other will be entering middle school next year — and until this summer I’d been reveling in all the positives this new age brings. I watched my oldest boy navigate sixth grade last year — the first year of middle school for our whole family — and I was blown away by the huge, marked increase in independence in his academics and his real interest in and love for volunteering and community service, as well as increasingly interesting and fun conversational skills. I was already seeing those things when he stepped it up even more when my mother-in-law fell ill this past February — every Saturday for the last two months she was alive, my son tended to his grandmother by reading to her, washing dishes, staying out of the way if needed, and generally being a companion to my husband, who spent the entirety of every Saturday caring for his mom. My boy never complained, and seemed to really understand how important it was that he give his best.

But my kids have always been prone to letting their standards slide when they’re in the comfortable environment of home. When my oldest was a toddler I remember asking the pediatrician why he was so well behaved outside the house and so hard to handle inside it? He told me then that it was because my son was comfortable at home — that we’d succeeded in creating the safe environment we always wanted our home to be for our kids, and so our boy knew that no matter how badly he behaved, we’d still love him. The first half of this summer was sort of like the middle-school equivalent of that, and I was so taken off guard that I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I’ve always tended to crack down — for better or worse, that’s always my gut reaction for every kind of bad behavior: to crack down, dole out punishments, restrict privileges, with the goal of nipping bad behavior in the bud as quickly as possible. But not only did my usual course of action not seem to be working, I wasn’t even sure that it was the right approach in general. I’d seen in the last year the beginnings of the emergence of a man where my little boy had once been. I’d seen goodness and honor and integrity of a more mature kind showing itself. My way of dealing with small children seemed, all of a sudden, somewhat inappropriate for this fast-growing, quickly maturing young man.

What to do? About halfway through the summer, I felt that I’d had more than enough. I was at my wit’s end, I was tearing my hair out, I was yelling, I was crying … and then the most amazing thing happened! Just when I felt like things couldn’t possibly get worse (don’t laugh, you parents of older kids! I do know it can get worse), things all of a sudden got better. Like, a thousand times better. One hundred and eighty degrees better. 

All of a sudden, he started putting forth real effort to be patient with his brothers. To be accommodating to the ways in which I need things to run for smooth, peaceful days. To be self-sufficient and even proactive — he told me, for example, that for my birthday he was going to clean the front room. Cleaning and similar daily chores were one of the things we butted heads about the most at the beginning of the summer, and here he was, telling me he was going to do it on his own? Without prodding, pleading, or threatening? I admit I thought, “We’ll see,” and for the next week I did just that — I watched how every day he spent huge chunks of time doing the deepest of deep cleans. When it was done, we had a room that was immaculate — clutter-free, clean, cozy. Then he decided to move on to one of the bathrooms. Then I needed the other bathroom cleaned and asked if he would help me with it, and not only did he say yes right away, but he did more than what I asked.

The last half of this summer has kind of been like a dream! And I’ve made sure to tell him, as many times as I think of it, how grateful I am for all his attempts at helpfulness and self-control and good humor.

I’m not really sure what to expect going forward, which seems to basically be the idea with the middle-school age. The Wall Street Journal article that discussed the two studies described it thusly: “The turbulence that hits sixth- through eighth-graders often begins with the onset of puberty, bringing physical changes and mood swings.”* Turbulence, changes, mood swings, indeed.

I totally get it — I’m sure we all can, if we remember back to our own middle-school days. Remembering it’s not easy on the kids either is helpful! But I do know I’m encouraged by what I’ve seen so far, and the next time we hit a rough patch (as I’m sure you more experienced parents know will happen), I’ll spend a lot of time sitting in my clean front room trying to remember all the good things middle school can bring.

* Luther and Ciciolla. “What it feels like to be a mother: Variations by children’s developmental stages.” Dev Psychol. 2016 January; 52 (1): 143-154 and Glatz and Buchanan. “Change and Predictors of Change in Parental Self-Efficacy from Early to Middle Adolescence.” Dev Psychol. 2015 October; 51 (10): 1367-1379 as discussed in Shellenbarger, Sue. “Mom’s Middle-School Blues.” The Wall Street Journal. May 17, 2016, http://www.wsj.com/articles/moms-middle-school-blues-1463505537.

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 21, 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, and 8. Email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.

The New York Estate Tax Does Your Family Need to Worry?

For many New Yorkers, the words “estate tax” sound like a problem reserved for the very wealthy.  But New York’s estate tax rules are more complicated, and potentially more important than many people realize.  What is the good news?  Most families will never pay New York estate tax.  Still, it is important to understand what counts as part of your estate, how New York’s estate tax “cliff” works, and why simply being under the current New York estate tax exemption amount does not mean you should ignore estate planning. 

Here is a Q&A that explains the basics of the New York State estate tax and will help you determine what should be on your estate planning checklist.

What is the New York estate tax?

It is a tax imposed by New York State on the transfer of a person’s property after death.  Simply, New York looks at the value of what you own when you die.  If your estate is large enough, New York may impose a tax before your assets pass to your beneficiaries.  Importantly, not every estate is subject to New York estate tax. 

Who pays New York estate tax?

For someone who dies in 2026, the New York basic exclusion amount is $7.35 million.  If your estate is valued below that amount, no New York estate tax is due.  That may sound like a number that applies only to the very wealthy.  But there is an important point many people overlook: your estate includes much more than the money in your bank account.  

What counts as part of my estate?

Generally, your estate can include your home and other real estate; bank and investment accounts; retirement accounts, including IRAs and 401(k)s; business ownership interests; life insurance death benefits; and personal property.  Certain taxable gifts made within three years of death can also be included in the New York estate tax calculation.  

What if I have more than $7.35 million?

That’s when things get more complicated and potentially expensive.  New York has what is commonly called an estate tax “cliff.”  Here is the basic idea.  For someone who dies in 2026, if your taxable estate is greater than $7.35 million but no more than $7,717,500.00, only the amount above $7.35 million is subject to estate tax, at rates ranging from approximately 3.06% to 16%.  But if your taxable estate goes over $7,717,500.00, the rules change dramatically.  The estate tax can apply to your entire taxable estate, not just the amount above $7.35 million.

That is why the estate tax “cliff” matters.  Someone with a larger estate should not assume that only the amount in excess of $7.35 million will be taxed.  

How about married couples? 

Married couples have important estate planning opportunities, but New York’s estate tax exclusion does not simply double automatically because two people are married.  How assets are owned and how an estate plan is structured can make a significant difference.  There are planning techniques that may allow a married couple to preserve both spouses’ available exclusions, thereby doubling the exemption amount.

Can I gift to my children?

You can make gifts to your children, but New York has special rules regarding certain gifts made before death.  Generally, certain taxable gifts made within three years of death must be added back into the New York estate tax calculation.  In other words, giving assets away shortly before death does not necessarily make them disappear from the New York estate tax calculation.  

What if I leave New York?

Moving to another state can change the analysis, but it does not necessarily eliminate the New York estate tax issue.  For a nonresident, New York can still impose estate tax on certain New York property, including real property and tangible personal property located in New York.  That could include a New York home, land, or certain furnishings and other tangible property.  A New York estate tax return may still be required for a nonresident when the value of the New York property, together with assets held outside New York exceeds the New York exemption amount. 

What about federal estate tax?

The federal estate tax exemption amount is currently $15,000,000.  It applies in addition to any potential estate tax liability.  If you have an estate in excess of that, there are different planning strategies that are available at the federal level.  

What if I have less than $7.35 million?

Estate planning is about much more than estate taxes, so you should not ignore estate planning just because you are below the estate tax exemption amount.  Who will make financial decisions if you become incapacitated? Who will make medical decisions for you? Who will inherit your home? What happens if one of your children dies before you? Who will handle your affairs after your death? And what happens to the house if several children inherit it together?  Those questions can affect families with $500,000 estates just as they can families with $10 million estates.

Should I worry about estate taxes?

Probably not if your total estate is comfortably below $7.35 million.  But before you make that assumption, it is important to understand what is included in your estate.  For 2026, New York’s estate tax exclusion is substantial.  But New York’s estate tax “cliff” makes planning particularly important for estates approaching the threshold.  For most families, the better question may not be, “Will I owe estate tax?” It may be: “Do I have a plan for what happens to everything I own, and have I reviewed that plan recently?”  That is a question worth asking regardless of the size of your estate.

James D. Wighaus is an Associate Attorney with O’Connell and Aronowitz, 6 Airport Park Boulevard, Latham, New York.  James’ practice is focused on the areas of corporate law, and trusts and estates law, including estate planning, long-term care planning, estate tax planning and estate administration. James can be reached at (518) 694-5698, jwighaus@oalaw.com and www.oalaw.com.  

Affordability and You

If you’ve been feeling like it’s harder to make ends meet over the past couple of years, you are not alone. In fact, looking at the economic data at the end of 2026, that feeling is justified. We often hear financial analysts talk about “inflation cooling,” but cooling just means prices are rising slower, not that things are getting cheaper. Let’s take a look at how the cost of living has shifted recently, focusing on what people are actually experiencing when they check their bank accounts or head to the grocery store.

Let’s talk about the big picture first. While overall inflation has slowed from its peak a few years ago, the cumulative impact is what matters to your wallet. Prices compound over time. A modest increase this year is layered on top of the increases from 2025, which sit on top of the increases from previous years.

What does that mean? It means a basket of everyday goods—like groceries, clothes, and basic services—that cost $100 in early 2020 might cost closer to $125 or $130 today. Even a slow climb hits hard when you’re managing a tight budget.

Take food, for example. A four-person household is now spending nearly $200 more each month than they did just two years ago. The price of basics—eggs, bread, meat, and fresh produce—has settled at a higher plateau. If your paycheck hasn’t grown at the exact same pace as your grocery bill, you’re going to feel that pinch every week. And it’s not just food; car insurance premiums and vehicle maintenance costs have surged, making the act of commuting to work a heavier financial burden than it was just 24 months ago.

A major part of the affordability puzzle right now is housing. This isn’t just a headache; for many, it’s a barrier to building a secure life.

If you were looking to buy a house at the end of 2019, your expected average monthly mortgage payment (principal and interest) would have been $1,250 to $1,400. Today, the median monthly payment for new purchase applicants is hovering around $2,200.

The shock is what those relative monthly payments actually buy you today. Back in 2019, that $1,300 payment secured a $320,000 home—which, in many parts of the country, meant a standard three-bedroom, move-in ready house in a decent neighborhood with a yard. Fast forward to 2026, and a buyer stretching their budget to make a $2,200 monthly payment is often getting less house for nearly double the monthly cost.

Because home prices have climbed over $400,000 and interest rates remain elevated, today’s $2,200 payment might only secure a smaller condo, a townhome, or a fixer-upper located further away from town and work. To get that exact same 2019 three-bedroom house today, your monthly payment would easily clear $2,600 or more in many markets.

The dream of the starter home is fading. In 2019, nearly half of all newly built homes were priced under $300,000. Today, that share has plummeted. This lack of affordable options has pushed the median age of a first-time homebuyer to 40, up from previous decades.

Renters aren’t escaping the squeeze either. The national median rent across the US stabilized around $1,390 to $1,500 a month in late 2026, but overall housing costs—including higher utilities and renter’s insurance—average out to much more. When so much of your income goes just to keeping a roof over your head, there’s little left over for saving, investing, or dealing with emergencies.

This persistent squeeze is showing up clearly in how people feel and how they’re spending their money. Overall consumer sentiment—which measures how confident people feel about the economy as a whole—has taken a hit. In August 2025, the consumer sentiment index sat at 58.2, but by April 2026, it had fallen to an all-time low of 47.6.

People are worried.

To bridge the gap between their income and these higher costs of living, many families have had to rely on credit cards. With interest rates remaining elevated, carrying a balance is more costly than ever. This creates a downward cycle: you use a card to cover a grocery run or a utility bill, and the interest charges make the next month’s budget even tighter.

Because essentials are eating up so much of the budget, people are pulling back on discretionary spending. Recent surveys show consumers planning to cut spending on almost everything that isn’t necessary. We’re seeing a drop in intent to spend on home decor, furniture, and eating out. People are making tough choices, deciding they can live with the old sofa or skip the family vacation to ensure the bills get paid.

If you are feeling financially strained right now, it’s probably not because you aren’t working hard enough or budgeting well enough. The costs of living—especially the cost of housing—have shifted in a short amount of time.

The economic environment leading into the end of 2026 has required a lot of resilience. While inflation may eventually settle, the new baseline for what life costs has been established.

Stephen Kyne, CFP® is a Partner at Sterling Manor Financial, LLC in Saratoga Springs. Sterling Manor Financial, LLC is an investment adviser registered with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training. This article is for informational purposes only, does not constitute individualized financial or investment advice, and should not be construed as an offer to buy or sell any securities. This article contains forward-looking statements and opinions based on information available at the time of writing, and are subject to change without notice.

Tennis Elbow Treatment:How Chiropractic Care Can Help You Recover

Tennis elbow is a common source of elbow pain that affects people from all walks of life—not just tennis players. Whether you spend your day working at a computer, using tools, lifting objects, playing recreational sports, or performing repetitive arm movements, you may develop irritation and weakness in the tendons on the outside of your elbow.

At our clinic, we often see patients who have been dealing with persistent elbow pain that interferes with work, exercise, and everyday activities. The good news is that most cases of tennis elbow respond well to conservative care focused on reducing stress on the injured tissues, improving movement, and rebuilding strength.

What Is Tennis Elbow?

Tennis elbow, medically known as lateral elbow tendinopathy, occurs when the tendons that attach the forearm muscles to the outside of the elbow become irritated and overloaded.

These tendons help control wrist and hand movements, especially gripping and lifting. Repetitive stress can lead to small changes within the tendon that cause pain, reduced strength, and decreased tolerance for normal activities.

Common causes include:

• Repetitive gripping or lifting

• Computer and desk work

• Manual labor and tool use

• Racquet sports

• Weight training

• Gardening or household activities

Common Symptoms of Tennis Elbow

Patients with tennis elbow often report:

• Pain on the outside of the elbow

• Tenderness near the outer elbow bone

• Weak grip strength

• Pain when lifting a cup, suitcase, or tools

• Discomfort with wrist extension or gripping activities

• Forearm tightness or fatigue

Symptoms often develop gradually and may become more noticeable over time if the underlying movement patterns and tissue stress are not addressed.

How Chiropractic Care Can Help Tennis Elbow

Effective treatment focuses on more than simply reducing pain. The goal is to improve how the elbow, wrist, forearm, shoulder, and surrounding muscles work together.

A comprehensive treatment plan may include:

1. Activity Modification and Education

One of the first steps in recovery is identifying the activities that are irritating the tendon and making appropriate adjustments.

Your provider may recommend:

• Modifying repetitive tasks

• Improving lifting and gripping techniques

• Adjusting workstation setup

• Taking movement breaks throughout the day

• Gradually returning to sports or exercise

Avoiding all activity is usually not necessary. Instead, the goal is to find the right balance between protecting the tendon and keeping it active.

2. Manual Therapy

Hands-on treatment may help improve mobility and reduce discomfort in the tissues surrounding the elbow and forearm.

Depending on your condition, treatment may include:

• Soft tissue techniques

• Joint mobilization

• Muscle release techniques

• Stretching and mobility work

Improving movement in the elbow, wrist, and surrounding joints can reduce unnecessary stress on the irritated tendon.

3. Therapeutic Exercise

Exercise is one of the most important components of long-term recovery. Tendons respond best to gradual, progressive loading.

A rehabilitation program may include:

Forearm stretching

• Helps improve flexibility and reduce tension through the wrist and elbow muscles.

Grip strengthening

• Helps restore strength and endurance for daily activities.

Eccentric wrist exercises

• Controlled lowering exercises that gradually improve tendon capacity and tolerance.

Shoulder and upper-body strengthening

• Improves overall movement mechanics and reduces excessive strain on the elbow.

Exercises should be progressed carefully based on your symptoms and functional goals.

4. Pain Management Strategies

Early in recovery, managing symptoms can help patients stay active while tissues heal.

Common home strategies include:

• Ice after activities that increase pain

• Heat for stiffness before movement

• Temporary use of an elbow strap during aggravating activities

• Over-the-counter pain medication when appropriate and medically safe

Your provider can help determine which options are best for your situation.

Home Exercises for Tennis Elbow

A simple home program may include:

Wrist Extensor Stretch

1. Extend your affected arm with your palm facing downward.

2. Gently pull your fingers toward your body with your opposite hand.

3. Hold for 20–30 seconds.

4. Repeat several times daily.

Eccentric Wrist Extension

1. Rest your forearm on a table with your hand hanging off the edge.

2. Use your opposite hand to lift the wrist upward.

3. Slowly lower the wrist back down.

4. Perform controlled repetitions with light resistance.

Consistency matters more than intensity. Tendons typically improve with gradual, repeated exposure to strengthening exercises.

How Long Does Tennis Elbow Take to Improve?

Recovery time depends on several factors, including how long symptoms have been present, activity demands, and consistency with treatment.

Some patients notice improvement within a few weeks, while chronic cases may require several months of progressive rehabilitation. Tendons often heal more slowly than muscles, so patience and proper progression are important.

When Should You See a Chiropractor ?

Consider an evaluation if:

• Elbow pain is limiting your daily activities

• Symptoms have lasted more than several weeks

• Your grip strength is decreasing

• Pain returns every time you resume normal activity

• You are unsure which exercises are safe

• You want to prevent the problem from becoming chronic

A thorough evaluation can identify contributing factors and create a treatment plan tailored to your goals.

Don’t Let Elbow Pain Limit Your Life

Tennis elbow can be frustrating, especially when it affects work, hobbies, and simple daily tasks. 

With the right combination of movement modification, hands-on care, and progressive strengthening, most people can return to the activities they enjoy.

If you are experiencing persistent elbow pain, a chiropractic evaluation can help identify the cause of your symptoms and guide you toward a safe, effective recovery plan

Dr Matt smith has been a chiropractor in Saratoga Springs for forty years, He and his daughter, Dr Kevy Smith Minogue practice at 50 Seward Street. Online appointments can be made at WWW.MySaratogaChiropractor.Com