Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie! Set To Premiere at Cohoes Music Hall in April

SARATOGA SPRINGS — It was Aug. 1, 1981 – the premiere of MTV – and three dozen songs into the playlist, up came the video of Blotto’s “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard.”

Upstate New York rock band Blotto experienced national success in the 1980’s through touring, record sales, radio airplay and exposure of their videos on that then-brand-new music cable station MTV.

A new documentary film – featuring a broad and entertaining look at the career of the band – was created by Rob Lichter.  Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie! Is set to premiere at Cohoes Music Hall on Saturday, April 12. 

The film spans the origins of the band members starting as The Star-Spangled Washboard Band in the 1970’s, their evolution to Blotto and heyday in the 1980’s, and their long afterlife up to the present.  

Blotto enjoyed a wide and loyal following for their music and engaging live shows that would find Bowtie, Broadway, Sarge, Cheese and Lee Harvey (mostly) good-naturedly lampooning a grab bag of musical genres.  

In August 2017, Haymes graciously accepted an invitation to speak at a History of Rock & Roll in Saratoga event this writer was hosting at the Saratoga Springs Public Library. 

Haymes, who died in 2019, was prolific writer, musician, visual artist and supporter of the Capital Region arts scene for several decades. He was also a co-founding member of the band Blotto and its predecessor, the Star-Spangled Washboard band – of the early 1970s.  

“We played a couple of shows at Caffe Lena, and within a year we played at SPAC, opening for Sha Na Na,” recalled Haymes.  “Star-Spangled Washboard Band lasted through about September ’78 and everybody went their separate ways and got real jobs. Our bass player, Cheese Blotto, got a job bartending at his friends who had just opened a bar that was called 17 Maple Avenue. In the back there was a stage, probably about six inches high, tops. Cheese struck a deal with (the owner) that if he could get some friends to come up and play in the back room then he would still get paid his bartending fee, but he wouldn’t have to actually bartend. So, every weekend he would call up and say: hey, you want to come up this weekend?” said Haymes, who would take on the moniker Sarge Blotto 

“Eventually it coalesced into a group and we needed a name. We came up with the name Blotto. We came up with these little cardboard convention badges that would say: Hello My Name Is. That became the title of our first record: Hello My Name is Blotto. 

“There was a night, later on, late in the evening, we’re doing our third set or something and there’s a group of gentlemen who come in and stand in the back. Big poodle hair. Satin baseball jackets with the sleeves pushed up. This was like ’79. So naturally we started making fun of them. They’re a band? Ahaha. It’s a Friday night and they’re not playing anywhere,” Haymes recalled. 

-Hey, you wanna come up and jam?’

-Oh yeah, sure. 

“So we did ‘House of the Rising Sun,’ and ‘Johnny B. Goode,’ because everybody does ‘Johnny B. Goode,’ and I think we also did ’We Gotta Get Outta This Place..’  Maybe four guys came up – and they were pretty good! We were very impressed. After our set, it was time to say thank you and wrap up the night. We asked them who they were. Neal, Steve…it was Journey. Earlier that evening they had played at SPAC. Ha. They were pretty cool about it.”  

Two years later I was in Colonie Center, somebody said ‘Have you seen the poster?’ We had to go to Spencer’s Gifts and in the back there were these racks of posters and there’s a Journey poster. They’re just kinda standing there. There are some green trees and some white pillars and I’m looking at it and saying, ‘Yeah, it’s Journey. And?’”

“No, look closer, look closer.” 

“I looked and hanging from (drummer) Steve Smith’s belt is a cardboard tag: Hello My Name is Blotto. What’s Yours?”

This film is the brainchild of Rob Lichter, aka Bert Blotto, a multimedia expert and longtime friend of Blotto. He recorded performances and interviewed the band over the last 25 years to capture the material for the documentary. He also incorporated a vast collection of archival footage and photos going back as far as 1972. The result is a fun, lightly censored, self-effacing romp through the improbable life and times of the members of Blotto. 

The premiere performance of the film will take place at Cohoes Music Hall, 58 Remsen St. in Cohoes on Saturday, April 12. VIP Reception, cash bar and hors devours opens at 5 p.m. and the film screens at 7, with a Q&A to follow at 9.  VIP Reception and admission (limited availability) is $40, and Regular admission is $25.  For more information and tickets, go to: www.blotto.net or www.guthriebellproductions.com.