“Mothering Boys”

I wrote this almost ten years ago, when my older six were still little and living under our roof (and my youngest wasn’t even on the way yet). Now that I have adult children, I am grateful they still take seriously going to church! There are certainly no guarantees, but I do believe that instilling the importance of faith in children when they’re young is important. It’s not easy! Hopefully this article encourages any of you who are struggling to make church happen.

In our house, going to church on Sunday (or the Saturday Vigil Mass, which counts for Sunday) is a non-negotiable — all members of the family go to church (barring illness or other serious impediment). I know families who don’t bring their children to church until they’re old enough to sit and behave, but we are not that family, so we’ve had to figure out how to manage the one hour at church with a mix of newborns, toddlers, and preschoolers (the school-age kids tend to do pretty well). 

I’m not going to lie, bringing little ones to church can feel like having your fingers chewed off. What seems like an event intended for spiritual nourishment and refueling can actually make you feel worse than you did when you walked in. I have by no means figured out how to have a wonderful experience at church when I’m in the midst of the smallest, grabbiest, loudest, most unreasonable of children, but I so firmly believe that it’s imperative for the health of my kids’ faith life in the long term to be as familiar with Mass and to understand its importance as much as possible that I’m willing to do what needs to be done to get them there each week. And though I don’t always get out of church what I’d like to, I really think the effort on the part of the adults counts for something. God knows what we’re dealing with and how hard we’re trying.

So. How on earth do we manage? We use these strategies:

(1) Don’t go alone if you can help it

While I know it might not be possible every time or for every parent, and I’ve taken the kids to church by myself many times, it’s infinitely easier to have another adult with you to help manage everyone. Having both parents there is the best, but my parents and sisters have helped me out many times in the past as well. 

(2) Divide and conquer, and/or figure out a seating chart ahead of time

Having more than one adult can help keep the kids separated from each other, which is such a key part of helping them stay calm. If you’re alone, or if you have more kids than adults, consider figuring out the best way for them all to sit to avoid conflict and goofing around during church. For us, our oldest goes into the pew first, then no. 2, then no. 4, then me, then no. 6, then my husband, then no. 5, then no. 3. We’ve tweaked this and edited it as needed, and some Sundays need to be different from others. We’ve also put the troublemaker in the pew right in front of us on occasion — whoever it happens to be that Sunday, separating him from his brothers is almost always the best solution. Also, some families find that their kids behave better in the front row, but we have always vastly preferred the back row (or as close as we can get) so our shenanigans aren’t on display and distracting to others.

(3) Be sure to bring necessities

I don’t mean “distractions” — I’ll get to those in a minute — I mean the things without which you’re nearly guaranteed a disaster for the three-and-under set. For us, it means bringing their lovey (blanket or stuffed animal, depending on the boy), a bag of Cheerios, and a cup of juice (or a nursing cover, if I’m still breastfeeding). If I have those things, our chances of making it through Mass are so much better.

(4) Child-friendly distractions

These are nearly on par with the necessities listed above. I bring teethers or toys for the little ones that can be attached to them with a pacifier clip (so they don’t bean someone in the head when they inevitably toss them), but the older they get, the more church-focused things I bring, like children’s books of the Saints, laminated holy cards, and a rosary or two. Also, “delayed gratification” is key. Don’t give them everything at once — give them one thing when they start to get fussy and wait for them to have their fill of it before moving on to the next item (this is the same for the necessities listed above).

(5) Choose the right time for your schedule

I know not every church offers multiple services, but I’m so grateful ours does — it allows us to go to the Mass that doesn’t fall during naptime, for example. Or if getting out of the house early is problematic for your family, choose a later time if you can.

(6) Take them out when they cry — but bring them back in

Certainly, if a child is causing a ruckus, he or she needs to be removed from church. While I believe children should be welcome at church, I do also think we should be as sensitive as possible to those around us. But always bring them back in once they’ve calmed down! Even if you have to take them right back out again, even if you have to go in and out of church seventeen times during the service, I think bringing them back in is so important. My boys love being taken out of church, and if we stayed out with them, you can bet they’d start acting up just in order to be taken out. Bringing them back in — after a stern talking to outside — ensures they realize that acting up will not give them a free pass to get out of church.

These are the things that have worked for us over the last thirteen years, and still do (our youngest is still learning). Some Sundays are harder than others, for sure, but these tips have helped us cope and keep going to church each week. And remember: if you have to leave church early one week, or just can’t seem to make it at all, get up and try again! Eyes on the prize! If you make church a priority and commit to going, you’ll figure out the best way to do so for your family.

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 21, 19, 17, 15, 14, 11, and 7. Email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.

It is the Holiday Season and Time for Gifting The Basics of Gifting from a Legal Perspective

It is the Holiday Season, and therefore time to consider gifting.  When you make a gift, there are a variety of legal considerations involved.  What follows is a series of questions and answers about what you should be thinking about when you make a gift.

Are there tax limits to the amount I can gift?

Every year, the IRS publishes the amount you can give to another person without the necessity of filing a federal gift tax return (an IRS Form 709).  In 2025, that amount is $19,000.  Usually, that amount increases from year to year, but in 2026 the annual exclusion amount will remain at $19,000.

Is it different if I am married?

Yes.  If you are married, you can combine your gift tax exclusion of $19,000 with your spouse’s exclusion and gift a total of $38,000 to any individual beneficiary.

Are gifts taxed?

If the gift you make is under the annual exclusion amount, then the gift is not subject to tax.  You, as the donor, do not pay tax, and neither does the recipient.  If the gift is above the annual exclusion amount, it is subject to the unified estate and gift tax exemption.

What is the unified exemption?

You can make gifts during your life and leave an estate at death without owing federal gift or estate tax, if your total lifetime giving and your estate when you die is valued at less than the unified estate and gift tax exemption.  That unified exemption for 2025 is $13.99 million and it goes up to $15 million in 2026.

Are any gifts not subject to gift tax?

Yes.  There are no federal gift taxes for: 1) gifts to your spouse, 2) tuition or medical expenses you pay directly to an institution for someone, and 3) gifts to a political organization for its use.

What about charitable gifts?

Charitable gifts may be deducted from the total amount of gifts made on your federal estate tax return.  It is important to remember that you do not need to file a federal estate tax return (an IRS Form 706), if your total lifetime gifting and your estate when you die is below the unified exemption amount.

Can I get income tax deductions?

If you make gifts to qualified, tax exempt charitable organizations, during the course of the year, you may be eligible to take deductions against your income.

How do the deductions work?

Generally speaking, you need to itemize your deductions on your income tax return and the deductions are limited to a certain percentage of your adjusted gross income (AGI).  If you do not itemize your deductions because you use the standard deduction, then you cannot take advantage of charitable deductions in 2025.  

Does that change in 2026?

Yes.  In 2026, the One Big Beautiful Bill Act created a new permanent charitable income tax deduction of $1,000 for individuals and $2,000 for married couples filing jointly.  These contributions must be made to a qualified operating charity, not a donor-advised fund or private foundation.

Do I need to keep records?

If you are making charitable donations, you should keep good records to substantiate them.  It is best to check with your accountant to see what is necessary.  Generally, you would want a copy of the check or credit card statement and a written acknowledgement from the recipient for any cash donations over $250.

Are there any State gift taxes?

There are no gift taxes payable to New York State.  If you reside in another state, you should check with your accountant.

Are there different rules for Medicaid?

Yes.  Gift tax rules and Medicaid rules are different.  If you would like to understand gifting in a Medicaid planning context, please check out my article on Medicaid rules for gifting from the October 10, 2025 Saratoga TODAY – https://saratogatodaynewspaper.com/october-10-october-16-2025-5/ 

It is wonderful to consider gifting, especially during Holiday Time.  To ensure you take advantage of available deductions and do not run afoul of any tax laws, it is advisable to speak to an experienced legal or tax professional.

I would like to take a moment to celebrate something we at O’Connell and Aronowitz are especially proud of this Holiday Season.  As of December 1, 2025, our law firm turned 100 years old!  We were started with two attorneys in Albany – Edward J. O’Connell and Samuel E. Aronowitz – on December 1, 1925.  Over the years, we have grown into a firm with over thirty lawyers that has become one of the area’s most trusted law firms.  We are happy to celebrate with our clients, family, and friends, and we look forward to the next 100 years!

Matthew J. Dorsey, Esq. is a Shareholder with O’Connell and Aronowitz, 1 Court Street, Saratoga Springs, NY. Over his twenty-eight years of practice, he has focused on the areas of elder law, estate planning, and estate administration. Mr. Dorsey can be reached at (518)584-5205, mdorsey@oalaw.com and www.oalaw.com.  

We often forget the extent to which health is closely linked with our daily habits. We all want to feel full of energy, in order to be able to live life on our own terms. What’s interesting is that we often don’t know how bad we were feeling, until we actually feel better. This was a revelation I had myself after suffering from fatigue and nutrient depletions years ago. I’ve since rebuilt my health from the inside out, restored my energy, and now use food as medicine to help clients do the same.

The good news: your health is more in your control than you may think, and it’s multifactorial. We can either build health, or move toward chronic disease based on our repeated daily habits; you have the power to take back your health, after all you are the CEO of your own body! Food, movement, sleep, stress management, and connection are the major pieces we can work on to layer in sustainable, and life-changing habits to get you feeling your best, little by little. With clients, I most often start with tweaking nutrition, since we eat at least 3 times a day, there are endless opportunities to start building the right habits to begin feeling the way you actually want to feel. Feeling great isn’t a pipe dream, it’s achievable for everyone.

Running on Clean Fuel

It’s simple; our bodies are like cars, we need proper fuel to run properly. If we put the wrong fuel source in our car instead of gas, we wouldn’t be surprised when our car didn’t turn on. Yet the average American fills their body with foods that are the wrong fuel for the body, then get disappointed when they don’t have any energy, the scale goes up, or symptoms start to arise. 

What we need is the right fuel for our bodies to do what they’re meant to do. Our bodies know how to run well; we just need to give it the proper inputs to do so. As a functional medicine nutritionist, I often talk to clients about gut healing, how to eat to reduce inflammation, (which is at the root of most symptoms) and talk about how to balance blood sugar to avoid the 3PM slump. As a Physical Therapist, I also know the incredible benefits that movement has on our bodies as well. Nutrient-dense foods and physical activity are examples of optimal fuel to energize the body, though each person’s needs may be slightly different, so personalization is key for optimal outcomes.

Love Your Liver

In digging deeper, often we find that the liver (our main detox organ) is sluggish and not doing its job well. It’s not surprising, we all get bogged down by the incoming and daily exposures to toxins in our external environment; in air, water, via food, personal care products, and household products we use all the time.

The body’s ability to detox actually requires a lot of nutrients to run well (hello antioxidants, B vitamins, minerals, protein, cruciferous veggies, and fiber). You can get all of these from food, but do you? If we learn how to give our bodies the optimal fuel sources for things such as liver detox, our organs and body will run smoothly and as a result, you feel better and reduce the risk for many conditions and diseases. 

The wellness world is really confusing. The real secret to better health? It’s consistency. It’s showing up and doing the so-called boring things that build true energy, vitality, and allow you to live the life you want. I run a few annual group programs to make functional medicine accessible to more people, plus it’s always more fun to do something as part of a group!

Not Your Average Detox 

Most “detoxes” I see advertised are simply low or no calories, or look like some sort of juice cleanse. These are severely lacking in the nutrients needed to properly fuel the liver to do its job, and thus are less effective. I’ve curated an evidence-based reset, hence the name ‘Not Your Average Detox’ to shift the body back into balance, starting to create energy from the inside-out, with a focus on the liver and the gut as a starting place. 

In it, we take six weeks to take out the major foods potentially causing harm and creating inflammation, while at the same time adding in the most supportive nutrients and foods. By the last week of the program, we discuss how to transition into a healthy lifestyle for the long-term. Short-term fixes lead to short-term results. Let’s make long-term fixes for long-term results.

Registration for the 6-Week Not Your Average Detox is officially open, and we’d love to have you join! We start January 4, 2026. Visit corerestorenutrition.com for more details, and if you’re looking to learn more about health topics, I host a podcast, The Restore Lab, on Spotify, and on Youtube, both linked on the website. I also have a monthly newsletter, Restore Reads, which you can sign up for. Follow on social media, at sabro_restore on Instagram, or Core Restore Nutrition or Wellness on Facebook, for frequent tips and tricks for how to live a healthier, more vibrant life. Be well.

Sara Brown PT, DPT, MS, CNS is a Certified Nutrition Specialist and Physical Therapist, who uses functional medicine principles to help clients reduce inflammation, restore health, and energize the body using food as medicine. She is the owner of Core Restore Nutrition and Wellness LLC, and works with clients either individuallyin person or via Telehealth, as well as offering group nutrition programs. She provides corporate and community nutrition presentations, and is also the host of The Restore Lab podcast, on Spotify. 

I’m an absolute sucker for those lists I see every year online of great gifts for various people: Mom, Dad, husband, wife, kids, teens, boys, girls, boss, colleagues. I’m always interested to see what people are recommending and what the hot new things are. If you’re like me, and if you have elementary-aged boys in your life that you will be buying gifts for, then hopefully this month’s article will help you out!

If someone were to ask me for a top-five gift list for boys — the top five things that are most likely to be well received and well loved by boys in general, and that most parents would likely approve of — these are the things that would make the list, based on the six boys in my house (ages 3 to 13) and their varied personalities and interests, and all the things they’ve asked for and/or been given over the years:

(1) Balls

Boys love balls. The younger the boy is, the more excited he is about balls. It doesn’t matter if he has a hundred balls at home already and is currently holding one in each hand. If he sees another child with a ball, or a display of balls at the store, he will go bananas. Even as they get older and aren’t quite as enthusiastic, and even for boys who aren’t so inclined towards sports, balls still seem to have a decent success rate. My nine-year-old received a football as a party favor at a friend’s birthday party recently, and he carried it around for days. My thirteen-year-old loves to throw tennis balls and small rubber balls against the wall and catch them and do it again (and again and again). They’re forever losing basketballs and baseballs over our backyard fence, and every year we’re always looking for the perfect ball to play with while swimming, so really, balls are never a bad idea. (Honorable mention, especially for younger boys: anything with wheels.)

(2) Books and drawing supplies

I’m putting these two things together in the same category because they’re similar — lovely, quiet activities that nevertheless have always been a big hit with my boys. “Books?” you might be thinking skeptically to yourself, as my brother did when, for my eldest’s second Christmas, he asked what my son might like, and I said, “Books!” and he said, disgustedly, “Come on, let him have a little fun!”  Now that he has his own children, I’d be interested in whether he’d still say the same thing, because in my experience, age-appropriate new books about topics that boys tend to like are always a big hit. Topics I would put in this category include dinosaurs, vehicles, bugs/snakes/sharks, and science experiments. And like with the balls, it doesn’t matter to my boys if they already have a bunch of books on that subject. My one particular dinosaur lover frequently receives new books about dinosaurs on birthdays and at Christmas, and he pores over each one, every time—for him, the topic never gets old. Drawing supplies are similar, and I’m not talking fancy ones either — a new box of crayons and a package of copy paper will keep my boys drawing for hours. Even as I write this, my three-year-old is scrounging through our “crayon box” — an old shoebox with stubs of crayons and broken pencils and the occasional pen — and drawing happily; when Santa replenishes the crayon box with new drawing implements, he and all his brothers will miraculously find themselves even more inspired.

(3) Legos

I have some boys who are crazy about Legos, and I have others who are just kind of okay with them, and yet the majority of them ask for new Lego sets for every holiday, and insist on buying Lego sets to give their friends at the birthday parties they’re invited to. We have an enormous bin of Legos, thanks to the various sets they’ve received over the years and a very generous friend who gave us all her boys’ old Legos, and most days at least one of my boys (usually two or three) goes running right for the bin as soon as we get home from school and spends the rest of the afternoon pawing through the bin and building what they call “Lego creations.” They don’t seem to care that the pieces of sets get swallowed up into the communal bin fairly quickly (except one boy, who keeps his in his room), and you can find sets for just about every interest.

(4) Electronics

This category is, to me, sad but true. My boys love video games, phones, tablets, laptops — you name it. We were generously given a video game system several years ago (which, honestly, is the only reason I allowed it in the house), and when it pooped out on us last year, we were generously given a different one. We have a limited number of video games, and we strictly regulate when the boys can play and for how long (only on the weekends or days off; one hour each per day), and, no joke, they think about and plan for their turns all week. My older boys are required to have Chromebooks for school, and even though most of what they do on them is schoolwork, the younger ones are green with envy and are counting down the days until they’re in middle school. Phones and tablets regularly show up on their birthday and Christmas wish lists (they don’t seem to realize how futile this effort is!). One of them got a calculator for Christmas one year — just a regular old calculator with no bells or whistles — and it was one of the most coveted items by all the boys for weeks. 

(5) Star Wars and Superheroes

Finally, rather than being “things,” this category is about “themes.” Star Wars, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, the Avengers — those are all things that my boys find endlessly exciting. Apply these themes to the gift ideas mentioned above and you’re gold! 

I hope this is a helpful list for any of you who have boys to buy gifts for this winter! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

# # #

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 21, 19, 17, 15, 13, 11, and 7. Email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.

PainNeck pain is a prevalent issue that can affect people of all ages and lifestyles. Whether it stems from poor posture, muscle strain, or chronic conditions, knowing how to manage and alleviate neck pain at home can make a significant difference in your quality of life. As chiropractors, we advocate for a holistic approach to health, emphasizing the importance of self-care in conjunction with professional chiropractic treatment. Below, we outline effective home care strategies for managing neck pain.

 Understanding Neck Pain

Before diving into home care techniques, it’s essential to understand the potential causes of neck pain, which can include: 

– Muscle Strain: Often due to poor posture, sleeping in awkward positions, or extended periods of sitting.

– Cervical Disc Issues: Such as herniated or bulging discs that can compress nerves.

– Osteoarthritis: Degenerative changes in the cervical spine that may lead to discomfort.

– Injuries: Whiplash and other trauma can result in acute neck pain. 

Understanding the source of your neck pain can guide your home care techniques, but it’s always best to consult a chiropractor for a proper diagnosis.

Home Care Techniques for Neck Pain

1. Posture Awareness

Maintaining good posture is crucial for preventing and alleviating neck pain. Here are some tips:

– Ergonomic Workstation: Position your computer monitor at eye level and your chair at a comfortable height to promote proper alignment.

– Correct Sitting Position: Keep your feet flat on the ground, your back against the chair, and your shoulders relaxed.

– Mind Your Phone Usage: Hold your phone at eye level instead of bending your neck down to look at it.

2. Gentle Stretching and Exercises

Incorporating gentle exercises into your daily routine can help strengthen the neck muscles and improve flexibility:

– Chin Tucks: Sit or stand straight. Tuck your chin toward your chest, holding for 5 seconds. Repeat several times.

– Side Neck Stretch: Gently tilt your head to one side, bringing your ear toward your shoulder, and hold for about 15-30 seconds. Repeat on the other side.

– Range-of-Motion Exercises: Slowly rotate your neck in a circular motion, first clockwise and then counterclockwise.

3. Heat and Cold Therapy

Applying heat or cold can significantly alleviate pain:

– Cold Packs: Apply a cold pack wrapped in a towel to the neck for 15-20 minutes to reduce inflammation, especially in the initial stages of pain.

– Heating Pads: After the first 48 hours, use a heating pad to relax tight muscles and improve blood flow. This can facilitate healing and provide comfort.

4. Massage

Self-massage can be an effective way to relieve tension in the neck:

– Use Your Hands: Gently knead the muscles in your neck using your fingertips or thumbs. Focus on any tight or tender spots.

– Foam Rollers: A foam roller can help release tension in the upper back and neck area.

5. Sleeping Position and Pillow Choice

Your sleeping habits can greatly influence neck pain:

– Correct Pillow Height: Use a pillow that supports the natural curve of your neck. Stomach sleeping is generally not recommended, as it can strain the neck.

– Sleep on Your Back or Side: This position can help maintain spinal alignment. Consider a contour pillow if you are a side sleeper.

6. Stay Hydrated and Maintain a Healthy Diet

Keeping hydrated helps maintain optimal spinal health by ensuring intervertebral discs remain hydrated. A balanced diet rich in anti-inflammatory foods (like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fish) can also aid in recovery.

7. Limit Smartphone and Computer Use

Excessive screen time can lead to neck pain, often referred to as “tech neck.” Implement regular breaks from screens every 20-30 minutes and perform stretches during these breaks.

 When to Seek Chiropractic Care

While home care techniques can be effective for mild to moderate neck pain, it’s essential to consult with a chiropractor if:

– Pain persists for more than a few days.

– You experience weakness, numbness, or tingling in your arms or hands.

– The pain is accompanied by other symptoms, such as headaches or dizziness.

Chiropractic care can provide holistic treatment options, including spinal adjustments, physical therapy, and personalized exercise recommendations to address not only the symptoms but the underlying causes of neck pain.

Appointments can be made online at MySaratogaCiropractor.com.

“Mothering Boys”

This article from six years ago made me laugh out loud when I re-read it. We are still dealing with cultivating gratitude here in our house! We as a family and each of us individually have so much to be grateful for, which I hope my children always remember. I hope you and yours have a very Happy Thanksgiving! 

At my boys’ school there’s a “school store” once a week where the kids can purchase little things like pencils, erasers, and bouncy balls. Every week they beg me for money for the school store — I don’t always give them money, but when I do, I usually give them one dollar, as there are things they can buy that cost a dollar or less. But today, when I told one of my little guys that I had put an envelope containing a dollar in his school folder, he got really angry, because he wanted more than a dollar.

Well. Guess who’s not getting a dollar, or any amount, for a good while?

Being ungrateful is one of the things that I’m constantly on my boys about. They’re healthy, safe, warm, fed, clothed, and loved, and they have a lot of other things in addition to those essentials — in my mind, there’s no room for ingratitude when they have all those things that so many others don’t. 

Not only that, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea that having an “attitude of gratitude” can have a positive impact on one’s physical, psychological, and social lives. A 2014 article on Forbes.com by Amy Morin entitled “7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round” (available online) explains how cultivating gratitude can benefit everything from sleep to self-esteem, it can enhance empathy and reduce aggression, and it can increase one’s ability to cope: “Recognizing all you have to be thankful for — even during the worst times of your life — fosters resilience.” While I want my children to be grateful for what they have simply because they should be, I quite like that they’ll be healthier and happier by being grateful, too — and it’s a great reminder for me as well.

A more recent post (August 2019) on the web site HappierHuman.com called “31 Benefits of Gratitude: The Ultimate Science-Backed Guide” also noted something else I’ve observed: “Gratitude is a personality trait. Some people have more grateful personalities than others” and, while cultivating gratitude is a skill that can be learned through practice, some people need more practice than others. I’ve definitely seen this in some of my own children, which can make it a challenge to keep the general morale of the family up (haven’t you found that people who are always pointing out how bad things are can be such a drain on others’ mental peace?), so you can often hear me saying, “Be grateful for what you have!” I’ve also been known to say, “Now that you’ve complained about everything, tell me something you’re grateful for.” And my mom often tells my boys, “Remember to be patient and grateful!” Hopefully, the repetitive nature of these lessons will help them stick and make it easy for the boys to recall later in life.

Speaking of reminders to be grateful, we’re all looking forward to Thanksgiving (one of my boys has said it’s his favorite holiday, more than Christmas and his birthday!), and one of the things we’ve done in the past is to take time to share out loud the things we’re grateful for. I recently asked my boys what they’re grateful for, having both this article and Thanksgiving in mind, and I was so pleased that they all included family (including, specifically, “my brothers”) and friends, our home, and our food — those very things that I never want them to take for granted. That’s something I’m definitely grateful for this year! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 21, 19, 17, 15, 13, 11, and 7. Email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.