“Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.”—Attributed to Jacqueline Winspear
While grace is defined in many ways, the two I like best are:
- A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.
- Disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
When put this way, we can all demonstrate grace, every day. Simple acts of kindness are easy, yet too often in our busy work day or life, we may overlook them. There are those large acts of kindness, but everyday courtesy is made up of small acts. A simple smile or saying thank you for the small things others do for you can make someone else’s day. Holding the door for the person behind you (not as common as we’d like to think) or, as in my case, the driver who waits a moment to let me cross the very busy intersection near my home, is an example of simple grace.
Another way to demonstrate grace is in the words used. Are you kind in the way you speak to and about others? Yes, there are times when we need to say something that may not be easy for others to hear or we may need to correct someone. Yet, this doesn’t need to be done in a hurtful or impatient manner. While I’ve not been able to find the source, there is a statement I love and try to remember and share.
Say what you mean
Mean what you say
BUT
Never be mean when you say it.
Following this can lead to a great deal of grace and thus make for a more peaceful environment for everyone.
Some other ways to show grace:
Again, this could be a small simple thing. The friend who took time to make me a meal when I was in the middle of moving—on one of the hottest days this summer—showed grace. The neighbor, that I had not yet met, who helped me put together an outdoor shed after seeing me struggle showed grace that made my day.
Just be there. I have a very busy friend who shows great grace as she goes out of her way to visit a neighbor who has been hospitalized for some time. She is sure to take her things that will make her more comfortable or make her smile. Holding a friend’s hand, without advice or recriminations, in a time of need, is grace.
Say you’re sorry and mean it. Owning a mistake or misstep without excuses or blame is often difficult yet one of the most graceful things one can do.
To forgive may be the hardest form of grace, yet it may also be the most graceful act. When someone is truly sorry and asks for forgiveness, do you take that moment to remind them of how awful their offense was, as can be so tempting, or do you listen closely to their apology? Are you able to truly forgive when you say you will or do you keep a running tab on their offenses—even if only in your head? A true ability to forgive, when forgiveness is appropriate, is a true sign of grace.
I’ve kept a gratitude list for some time now. I think I’ll start a grace list. Not a list of what I’ve done to show grace but what others have done to show grace, to me or simply acts I’ve observed. I think it will make me see the world in a greater light.
Gayle LaSalle is an author and professional leadership facilitator. She can be contacted by email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or online by visiting www.gaylelasalle.com.
