YOU MIGHT have seen the article in the April 19 issue of Saratoga TODAY discussing my newly published book (my first book!): Catholic Baby Names for Girls and Boys: Over 250 Ways to Honor Our Lady. While having a strong background in the Catholic faith generally and devotions to the Blessed Virgin specifically was certainly required for writing such a book, I’ve played another role for the last few years that helped immensely—that of baby name consultant.
I’ve had the amazing privilege of having done hundreds of baby name consultations for expectant parents, and while every family is different, there are a few basic ideas that most parents employ when choosing a name for their babies.
(1) Honor names: Family, friends, faith, famous people
Many parents turn to their family trees (recent and distant) for name ideas, or to close friends that they wish to honor through the naming of their babies, or to saints or other faith-related names, or to famous people they admire (historical figures, politicians, athletes). Depending on their personal taste in names, the honor name might be put in the first name spot, or—especially with names that are perhaps too bold for a first name, or not exactly the parents’ style—the middle name spot. Even deciding not to use honor names is a decision that impacts the list of finalists—I know of couples who have crossed favorite names off their list because they were determined not to use family names.
(2) Personal taste in names
Speaking of personal taste in names in regards to honor names, I’m always interested to see what kinds of names the parents choose from their family trees or pool of friends or beloved holy/famous people, as they’re usually an indication of their personal name style. It’s often the reason surnames are chosen instead of first names or why Great-Great-Grandpa’s name is used to honor that side of the family instead of a more recent relative. I definitely encourage expectant parents to make a list of favorite names—including names they can’t use for whatever reason—just to get a sense of the kinds of names they like individually and as a couple, which they can then use to find a name that that they both like. One of my favorite name books, Baby Name Wizard, lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity, which can be really helpful in both lengthening the list of possibilities and in whittling it down.
(3) Flow and initials
Once a list of contenders has been made, another helpful thing is to say the chosen first name and middle name out loud with the last name to be sure you like how it they all sound together. For example, some parents don’t care for alliteration (names starting with the same sound/letter, like Susie Smith) and some don’t like it when a name that ends in a vowel is followed by a name that starts with a vowel (Anna Abrams). Some parents care a lot about what their child’s initials will be, whether because they don’t want them to spell an unfortunate word straight out (like poor Polly Ida Gilmartin) or with their monogram (with the last name initial flanked by the first and middle initials: Polly Georgine Irving).
(4) Popularity
Finally, you might want to check the popularity of the name(s) you like, if having a very popular name is either a pro or a con for you. First-time parents particularly are often unaware of the popularity of their favorite name(s), and are disappointed to discover after naming him that their little Noah has the number one most popular boy name in America. Others prefer names that are more common (or at least don’t mind them) and turn to the top ten list for inspiration (go to www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames to find info on name popularity). The Social Security Administration releases its first-name data for the previous year around Mother’s Day, which provides the most recent information regarding name popularity (it shares all names given to five babies or more each year)—it’s anticipated that the data will be released today!
(5) Others’ opinions
Many parents like to share their name ideas before the baby’s born, in order to get feedback from their family and friends. There are also many parents who find feedback from family and friends more upsetting and confusing than helpful. A middle ground is to float your name ideas on name discussion boards or with a baby name consultant, where you can get advice and feedback without opening yourself up to unwanted thoughts from family and friends. Some of my favorites are appellationmountain.net, nameberry.com, and babynamewizard.com.
I hope this has been helpful to any of you who will be naming a baby in the near future! I also know there are a lot of name enthusiasts out there who just love to talk about names—this one’s for you, too! And a very happy Mother’s Day to all my mom readers!
Kate and her husband have six sons ages 13, 11, 9, 8, 6, and 4; they’re expecting their seventh baby in the fall. Follow her at www.facebook.com/kmtowne23, or email her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
