Until Next Summer

I’m writing this on one of those brilliant October days that people think of when they think of how much they love October, where the orange leaves pop against the autumn blue sky and the acorns drop noisily onto the sidewalk and the smell of the heat coming on in the house as the temperatures drop in the late afternoon reminds me of how cozy the coming months can be. I’ve always loved the fall the best of all the seasons, hands down, and vastly more than hot, hot summer, but this year I’m needing October in a different way because I am still trying to get over the fact that summer is, in fact, over.

For most of my life, I admit I didn’t really love the summer. As a child, of course I loved summer vacation, but I also loved school (yes, I was one of those kids), and I’ve always, always, always hated the heat. The summer was always too hot, and I don’t like to be hot. It was too humid and I dislike humidity even more than heat. July was the worst month of the whole year to me — it was the hottest, the most humid, and the longest without any redeeming features (other than my mom’s birthday, which is a nice redeeming feature). There was still school in June, and in August is my birthday, our annual family getaway to the lake, and the excitement of getting ready for school, but July was just one long sweaty bake.

When I got a little older, in college and after, summers had the thrill of trips with friends, and my husband and I started dating during the summer, and four of my babies were born in the summer, so the warm weather does carry with it happy memories, but summers were traditionally when I worked more, sweated more, and slept more uncomfortably.

When I started having my babies, I continued to prefer other times of the year to summer. When our house was full of young children, the summer didn’t bring with it any kind of vacation for me, it wasn’t any different for me from the rest of the year except that it was hotter, dirtier, smellier, more uncomfortable, and the sun set later, which made bedtimes more difficult. When the boys were older, I rejoiced with them that they had a reprieve from school for the summer, but then they started having summer jobs, and I myself went back to work part time when my oldest was seventeen, which was at Siena and done mostly during the school year but also involved a summer program for all of July and one week of August (evenings), so I no longer had summers “off.” I enjoyed the work and was grateful for the job and its flexibility with our family schedule, but it did nothing to contribute to an increase of affection for summer.

I never, ever expected to change my mind about the summer, but this past summer was kind of glorious, and I have been having a really hard time getting back into the school year. 

There were a few reasons why this past summer was amazing:

• For the first time in five years, I didn’t work. My part-time job teaching middle and high school became full time this fall, so my part-time job at Siena was no longer sustainable, which meant I would no longer be working the summer program. 

• I really enjoyed being able to focus so much on my family, and the house also got some much-needed attention.

• The five big boys all had jobs, so there was some chauffeuring, but also some of them can drive themselves when I can spare the van, or walk, or get a ride with someone else, and I’m so, so pleased at how responsible they are.

• The little guys are so self-sufficient! They entertain themselves, bathe themselves, dinners are easier because everyone eats without complaining, bedtime doesn’t have to be so strict during the summer, and at the same time, we can send the little guys to bed without worrying they won’t stay in bed, won’t stay asleep, will cry all night, or whatever.

• Everyone is old enough that my husband and I were able to sneak out for date nights with more frequency and freedom than we’ve ever had. We went out to eat, went out for drinks, saw a band, hung out with friends. 

• Everyone is old enough to travel easily, so trips to see family and friends are much more possible. That said, our van is on its last legs so we weren’t able to travel as much this summer as we’d hoped — but that also meant more stress-free time at home.

• All of my children are proficient swimmers and I no longer worry for their safety at the beach.

• My third baby was still at home this summer, his last summer before going away to college.

It was so impossible to imagine these kinds of days when the boys were all tiny. I loved those days and miss my little boys, but these days and these big boys are so great. It was a really great summer.

But now it’s fall, and definitely one of the things getting me through is fall sports — I’m submitting this on a day that my fifth and sixth have a Cross Country meet after school that I can’t wait to go to. We’ll spend a beautiful afternoon outside on a cool, sunny fall day and get dinner at Stewart’s on our way home, which has become our post-race tradition. I look forward to Cross Country meets all week! Also, the holidays are coming, and what’s better than the holidays?! I’m grateful that we had such a great summer and I can’t wait for the next one, but I’m glad we’re settling into the cozy time of year.

Kate and her husband have seven sons ages 22, 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, and 8. Email her at kmtowne23@gmail.com.