Now that we have entered the holiday season, many of us travel back home to visit our elderly loved ones.
After a phone call to them, have you often wondered exactly what is going on in your loved one’s home lifestyle? Were there topics of conversation that they dismissed or became anxious over? Do you begin to wonder what you will be walking into upon your arrival?
Well, for many families this holiday season is a real eye opener to your loved one’s decline. It will also bring on anxieties of your own, wondering what changes will need to be made and how you will orchestrate these changes while managing your own family and lifestyle.
If you are questioning whether or not your concerns are legitimate, you will want to review the holiday checklist below provided by my friends at Brookdale Senior Living.
- Senior has consistently lost weight but there are no underlying medical conditions
- When you visit, you find the stove on and unattended
- Make repeated errors in self-medication
- EMS has been called to their home on more than one occasion
- Too confused to call for help.
- Increased incidents of illnesses or recent hospitalizations
- Diagnosis of dehydration or malnutrition
- Refuses visits from family members in order to conceal deterioration
- Insufficient finances to cover the cost of private help required
- Medicine cabinet contains many bottles of expired medications
- No longer able to prepare nutritious meals for themselves
- One who is normally social becomes socially withdrawn
- Drives and doesn’t recall how they arrived at their destination
- Automobile is in disrepair
- Neighbors report loved one loved one wandering aimlessly
- Thermostat is set at extreme temperatures
- Remains in pajamas most of the day
- Deterioration in hygiene
- Stacks of bills are left unpaid
- Frequently loses items
Of course every situation is unique and you may see different signs that trigger your gut intuitions of changes, which need to be addressed sooner than later. Remember, safety is always and should be the No. 1 concern. If safety is jeopardized in any area of their lifestyle, whether medically, emotionally or physically, a crisis is inevitable and you will then have a genuine juggling act on your hands to deal with. Decisions and changes will need to be made at a very quick momentum. Are you ready? Are you prepared? Are all their legal documents in order in case they are unable to speak for themselves? Here is a short checklist of the legal documents I would highly encourage you to have in order should the crisis occur before the changes are made. A trusted attorney who knows elder law and estate planning can assist you with these formalities.
- POA (power of attorney)
- Health Care Proxy
- Living Will or Advanced Directives
- DNR (do not resuscitate )
Please look out for one another and work together as a family. It takes a village to care for your aging family members. It is not a one-person assignment. I wish you all a safe and joyous holiday season with your loved ones.
Clare Colamaria is the founder of A Senior’s Choice, an eldercare consultant and family advocate. For more information or questions on related topics, please call Clare at (518) 424-2527 or go to her website www.aseniorschoiceonline.com
