Do you feel exhausted most days? Do you sometimes find yourself filled with bursts of anger and rage? Do you feel resentful and jealous of the people around you? Often these feelings crop up when we detach from honoring what we want and need to feel healthy and rested.
Many times I work with individuals who come in for their first appointment exhausted and angry. When I explore the root of these feelings it is clear that most of the time they have abandoned self-care.
You don’t have to live in a constant state of frustration and anxiety. The key to working through these feelings is to recognize that they serve as a warning to bring us back to the importance of mindfulness in everyday life and taking care of ourselves in the simplest of ways.
We recently got home from a family vacation and quickly realized we had a chirping smoke detector. It took us some time to figure out which alarm needed a new battery and we were tired from a long travel day. I could feel the frustration mounting as my husband and I went from room to room closing doors and trying to pin point the problem. If we had not fixed it right away it would have continued to chirp keeping us awake at night and ignoring the warning could have led to a dangerous situation.
Feeling exhausted, angry, resentful and stressed out is a chirping smoke detector in your life. Don’t wait until you burn out to pay attention to these important signals.
If you are someone who is prone to people pleasing behavior and has a tough time honoring what you want then you will most likely live in a constant state of exhaustion, frustration and disappointment. The common denominator is you, not everyone is out to upset you. Instead of being passive in your relationships begin to think about what you really want and need day to day and honor it!
Simple steps of doing this on the day to day basis will help you feel energized and proactive in your daily life.
If you have spent most of your adult life feeling disappointed by other people this is your chirping smoke detector warning you to take charge of your own happiness. Stop being passive in your daily life and do the work you need to do to figure out what you want.
I have seen people become paralyzed with anxiety and fear when I ask them to explore what they need and want every day to live a more meaningful, peaceful, happy life.
I remember one particular session with an individual who was tired and frustrated. When I explored with them what they needed to live a more fulfilled, peaceful life the individual finally blurted out in a rage, “I just want to be left alone for five minutes every day!” My response was, “Okay, you can you make that happen!”
Here was the reaction, “Are you kidding, do you have any idea the demands I have at work??? Without me everything would fall apart! I can’t just disappear and go meditate for an hour!!!”
Do you see how you can be your own worst enemy when it comes to self-care?
The idea of actually stopping for five minutes to take some time to be quiet and re-connect to self was an overwhelming thought. Sometimes it’s easier to stay frustrated and blame others because it’s more comfortable than being proactive and finding a concrete solution.
Living in a constant state of anxiety, exhaustion, frustration and stress can actually be your identity. It may be how you get attention, praise and validation. Don’t discount the depths of pathology the ego will go to to find admiration and worthiness.
You have a choice to stop and find the chirping smoke detector in your life. Don’t wait until you are burned out and become sick emotionally, physically and spiritually. At the first signs of burn out stop and re-charge your batteries. Explore what you need and practice honoring self-care day to day.
You are worth it!
Meghan Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing in State College, PA.
For more information email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
