OFTEN TIMES when individuals start the counseling process they begin to talk about past hurt and pain and the result is more tears than usual. It’s not uncommon for me to hear, “I never cry, why am I crying?” Just like rain showers clear the ground for new growth and beauty, our tears serve the same purpose in helping us begin the process of healing and make room for new growth emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
A good cry can leave us feeling cleansed and more peaceful, even if the circumstances of the issue we are upset about have not changed. Tears are the body’s way of helping us express pain, overwhelming joy, and deep connection to one another and/or spirit.
If you find yourself in a season of April showers, try to embrace your tears. Sometimes the only way we can get through a tough situation is to let the tears come and cleanse the toxicity that is embedded deep in our spirits.
Crying doesn’t make you a weak person and it doesn’t necessarily mean you are suffering from a clinical depression. It could simply mean it’s time to clear out the old and make room for new beautiful May flowers.
If you grew up in a home and were given messages that crying made you weak then you may have unconsciously blocked your body’s physical way of releasing pain. Be patient with yourself and give your body permission to help you begin the process of healing. Be aware of the negative messages you may have downloaded about expressing your feelings and begin to recognize those messages no longer serve you in any way.
If you find yourself tearing up more than usual, be kind to yourself! Often our knee-jerk reaction is to react with frustration and non-acceptance. Treat your feelings with compassion and kindness.
We all know the Golden Rule, “Treat others the way you want to be treated,” but I think a far more effective rule would be, “Treat yourself as well as you treat others!”
You would not shame a friend who came to you and started crying about a difficult situation; rather, you would offer your undivided attention and compassion. Give this same gift to yourself!
A few weeks after I was home with my newborn son a friend came to visit. As soon as I opened the door and saw her face I burst into tears and didn’t stop crying for an hour. Every time I tried to stop and apologize I would start laughing and then cry all over again.
The range of emotions I was feeling as a tired, overwhelmed first-time parent combined with the absolute joy and gratitude I felt created a tsunami of emotion. When she left I felt lighter and more peaceful from the inside out. It’s not that she offered words of wisdom; rather, she just sat with me and let me express what I needed in that moment.
Don’t try to over-analyze why you feel the way you do. Step back, make room for your feelings and accept tears as a blessing to bring you greater peace and joy in every area of your life.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Meghan Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing in State College, PA. For more information email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
